Archive for the ‘holiday’ Category

Managing Grief #6

Posted: May 9, 2013 in bereavement, blogging, death, dementia, family, friendship, holiday, life, love
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It’s been a few weeks since I posted anything in my “Managing Grief” series, but it’s not because there was nothing more to suggest, simply I couldn’t write the words down. As many of you will know, there have been two bereavements in my own family in the last couple of months (my Dad and my aunt), and I think it’s only been in the last few weeks that I’ve begun to truly grieve for them.

Anyway, onto today’s thoughts on how to manage your grief…

Be realistic in your expectations.

In Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies by Marta Felber, Marta writes the following:

My loved one died on January 25. Almost immediately, I began to dread the next Christmas without him, exactly 11 months away!

The way in which she coped with her anxiety about the coming Christmas was to plan carefully and keep her expectations realistic:

“Try to have reasonable expectations. There are important ways in which celebrations will not, and cannot, ever be the same again. So it is okay to plan for them to be different. Be realistic about what you can handle, both physically and emotionally. Be kind to yourself and nurturing.”

Elderly woman sitting in an armchairI can truly relate to those sentiments, as my Dad died on 21st February this year, and just a couple of weeks ago, on the 25th April, we had to cope with my Dad’s first birthday since he passed away. It was awful knowing that for the first time in my life we didn’t have to wonder what to buy Dad for his birthday, but, more importantly, we wouldn’t even be celebrating the day with Dad anymore. The 25th April was a working day for me, and I can truthful tell you that I don’t know how I got through that day at work in one piece as my heart was most definitely with Dad.
I can only imagine how hard it was for Mum. However to make sure Mum wasn’t on her own all day, feeling sorry for herself and getting upset as Dad was no longer here, we took her out at night for a meal…not to celebrate Dad’s birthday but just to remember Dad on what would have been his special day. It turned out though that Mum had actually been out most of the day, as in the afternoon, she apparently went down to the nursing home Dad had been in (and died in), and spent time there with the nurses who had cared for, and looked after Dad so well during his time there.
We got through the first of our significant days since our two bereavements by setting realistic expectations, so I know it will work, so please try this for yourself.

Amazing

Posted: April 1, 2013 in blogging, cross, death, Easter, family, friendship, Health, holiday, life, love, music, religion
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Amazing love
How can it can
That thou my God should die for me

I find it totally amazing that someone should died just so I can forever be forgiven of my sins. I don’t know about you, but I know of no-one else that would actually be willing to give their life for me.

Christ died over 2 thousand years ago, but still we celebrate His life, and His death after all these years. Who else can we say that about?!

As I’ve said several times over the last few days, I feel so humble and inadequate at all God has sacrificed for me, and all He continues to do for me. However, I know I can repay God for all the love He shows me on a daily basis, by giving the whole of my life to God.

How about you, are you thanking God for all he does for you by giving your life to Him? If you haven’t done so yet, today, Easter Monday is your day to say “Yes“, to Christ!

Resurrected!

Posted: March 31, 2013 in cross, death, Easter, family, friendship, heaven, holiday, life, love, music, pray, prayer, religion
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Power of the cross is what makes today a day to celebrate Christ, and God’s love for every one of us.

Christ is alive, He is risen from the dead and He is Lord!

Easter Sunday, today, is one of the happiest in the Christian calendar. Why? Because today we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. So let’s celebrate today by rejoicing in God’s love for each one of us.

God gave His son for us, so in return let’s celebrate this Easter by give our all to God.

Calvary Is Real

Posted: March 29, 2013 in bible, cross, death, Easter, family, friendship, Health, heaven, holiday, life, love, music, religion
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Lord, make Calvary real to me;
Lord, make Calvary real to me.
Open mine eyes to see victory in Christ for me;
Lord, make Calvary real to me.

Today is Good Friday. A day when Christians around the world remember the day when Christ was crucified on a cross, at Calvary.

Now doesn’t that sound a bit odd, people remembering, and celebrating the death of another? It would if it wasn’t for the significance of the person who was crucified. Jesus Christ, the Son of God who came to earth to live amongst us and teach us how to love one another, was that person. Because Christ died on a cross we have been forgiven of our sins. In other words,

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. (John 3:15-17)

So today is all about the cross, the blood, forgiveness and The Christ!

One of my favourite Easter songs is Written in Red. Please listen to the following audio of Olwyn Mathie singing this beautiful song which has such power and emotional words:

Holy Week

Posted: March 25, 2013 in bible, cross, death, Easter, holiday, Lent, life, love, religion
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If you hear the term Holy Week, what do you think of?

For those of you who don’t know what Holy Week is, here’s some details:

holy-week

The last week of Lent is known as Holy Week, and this is when Christians particularly, remember the last week of Jesus’ life – It is therefore the week which concludes with Good Friday. i.e. Easter Friday.

Easter is one of the most important times in the Christian calendar, and therefore many churches will hold various services during this week.

Holy Week starts on Palm Sunday, which is the Sunday before Easter, and it is so-called because it celebrates Jesus arriving into Jerusalem for the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus rode a donkey into Jerusalem, and the people there lay down their cloaks and mall branches in front of him to pave his triumphant entry into Jerusalem.

Psalm 118:26-29 (The Message)

Blessed are you who enter in God’s name — from God’s house we bless you!
God is God, he has bathed us in light.
Festoon the shrine with garlands, hang colored banners above the altar!
You’re my God, and I thank you.
O my God, I lift high your praise.
Thank God—he’s so good.
His love never quits!

Managing Grief #4

Posted: March 11, 2013 in bereavement, blogging, death, family, friendship, Health, holiday, life, love
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As I’ve mentioned in my previous Managing Grief blog posts I’m doing a series on how to manage grief following the loss of a loved one.

So what do I want to focus on today…holiday times!

Holiday times can be physically draining at the best of times, never mind when it’s the first holiday time you’ve experienced since your loved one died. it may also be a lonely time for you as you may not have other friends and family around you to support you through this time.

In Managing Grief #2 I said it was important to remember your loved one, and this is no more relevant than during holiday times. So make sure you take time during these period not just to try to come to term with the fact that your loved one is no longer with you during these holidays, but also to remember and even laugh at memories of past holiday occasions.

They always say “laugher is good for the soul”, well I would add that “laughter is good for grief”. i.e. Remember the good times with your loved one, remember the funny stories/events that have taken place during holiday occasions and smile and laugh at them once again.

So don’t be lonely during the holiday times, whether that means you’ve got friends and family around you or whether that means you’re by yourself remember past holidays with your loved one…whatever you find yourself doing, enjoy the memories, laugh at the funny memories because they will do you the world of good.

funny-random-happy-memories

No Hope

Posted: January 16, 2013 in bible, Christmas, clothing, family, finance, Food, holiday, life, music, news, politics, poverty, religion, television, UK
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There are many people in this world who feels as if their life has no hope. I personally find that very sad and am challenged to do something about that. Surely as Christians we must work together in Christ to let these people know that there is hope and that Christ can provide them with all they need.

I found myself getting very upset while watching various adverts that restarted on TV over the Christmas period, and are still continuing now – I’m sure if you’re in the UK you’ll have seen them too – various charities asking us to donate money to help them provide assistance and aid to adults, children and animals in third world countries and in our own country…boy do they pull at our heart-strings, don’t they!

I’ve now got to the stage where I have to go out the room now when these adverts are on as I just get too upset otherwise. What really gets me in these adverts is that they talk about the children and adults in these countries having “no hope”. Saying they have no hope suggests that no matter what any of us try to do for these folks, it will be futile. I however believe, as I’m sure many of you will too, that as long as there is God, there is hope.

Psalm 62:4-5 (NLT)

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.

Never give up hope, because God is still here!

It Might Be A New Year But…

Posted: January 8, 2013 in arthritis, dementia, family, friendship, Health, heart, holiday, hospital, life, love, New Year, religion
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…2013 seems to be bringing more of the same for me so far. :(

Firstly, I thought as it was the start of a new year, a time for new beginnings, I would once again make the first move to try to reconcile with brokenfriendshipseveral people who were once very close friends and confidants, but sadly for various reasons those relationships have broken down to such an extent in the last few years that not only to these folk ignore me and sometimes my husband too, but are often downright rude and cruel towards us – I certainly did not think any broken relationship merited such awful treatment, especially from people who would openly tell you they are Christians!

To be honest, I wish I hadn’t bothered again (I’ve reached out several times before to these folk), because the various people concerned either completely ignored me again, or responded in an obnoxious manner questioning why I thought I “had the right to expect them to speak to me” – At no time did I ever tell anyone I expected them to speak to me, so I was deeply hurt again.

So much for new beginnings and putting the past behind us and moving on!

I do wonder what kind of Christian does that make these folk? I’m definitely not saying I’m perfect, far from it, but I’ve felt right from the time these folk started to ignore us that things were taken out of context and exaggerated out of all proportion, and surely as Christians we should be able to rise above these disagreements, put them aside, forgive and move on…sadly not all seem to agree with me.

Secondly, health concerns for my hubby started again on New Year‘s Day again as we had to postpone our new year’s day dinner with my Mum as hubby wasn’t well enough to leave the house.

Thirdly, my own health problems seem to have peaked again since last Wednesday/Thursday although I think some of this may be down to all the other issues that have arisen since the start of the year!

hospital2Lastly, my Dad’s health has deteriorated considerably in the last week and a half as although he was previously sitting with his eyes closed all the time, he was at least responding to us when we spoke to him and was opening his eyes. However it got to the stage where he was no longer opening his eyes at all or speaking to us at all and he was also refusing to eat, drink or take any of his medication. So much so that last Friday he was admitted to hospital because he was badly dehydrated – That was a long day in itself, as the GP saw him about 3.45pm and decided he should go to hospital, although we later discovered he hadn’t bothered to order the ambulance until 5.30pm!

Meanwhile Mum and me waited at the nursing home with Dad for the ambulance as Mum was keen to ensure Dad got settled ok at hospital. What a long wait that ended up being…the ambulance didn’t turn up at the nursing home until almost 11pm. It was then about 12.20am before the doctor first spoke to us at the hospital and then about 2.40am before Dad finally got settled into a ward. By the time I dropped Mum back home and got myself home it was about 3.30am!

It turned out Dad has a chest infection and id apparently can often cause added confusion for dementia sufferers and cause then to be more sleepy and less willing to eat/drink than normal. Dad’s now being treated in hospital for his chest infection and he is beginning to become a little it more responsive when we speak to him  (not that much of what he says makes any sense), so hopefully he’ll get back to being able (and willing) to eat and drink by himself again soon.

So we’re only 8 days into 2013, but already I’d say I’m really not liking this year so far. So one thing is for certain, 2013 can really only get better, can’t it?!

My Aims 2012 – Review of the Year

Posted: December 31, 2012 in arthritis, bible, blogging, clothing, dementia, depression, family, Food, friendship, Health, heart, holiday, hospital, housework, life, love, motivation, music, pray, prayer, religion, Scotland, tennis, Travel, weight
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At the start of this year (2012), I shared with you my aims for this year (in Welcome to 2012). These were not my new year resolutions, but what I hoped to achieve this year as far as some lifestyle changes were concerned and some changes in my spiritual relationship with God.

At the end of each month since then I’ve given you an update on how I’m getting on with my aims. So now we’re on the last day of 2012, here’s my last update for this year, which will give you my honest opinions on whether I achieved, or failed, to reach my goals for this year…

  • Eat healthier
    • Over all, I would definitely say I have succeeded with this aim as I have definitely been eating much healthier when I’ve been at work, and have done ok when at home.
    • Yes there’s still room for improvement, as I have given in to my desire for chocolate on a few occasions.
    • Done ok with this ones I’m managing to continue to eat reasonably healthily while I’ve been at work, and not too bad when at home.
  • Lose some weight
    • Well I had my last weigh-in earlier today, and the news is that over the course of this year I’ve managed to lose 10 lbs.
    • I’m delighted with that as I have definitely not been on a diet, but have just been trying to eat a bit healthier and get a bit more active.
    • Hopefully if I continue doing the same things next year I’ll manage to lose a few more pounds.
  • Spend more time reading my bible
    • Some months this year I managed to spend a lot more time reading my bible than I had previously, however there were still a number of occasions when I didn’t even open my bible.
    • Overall though I’d say I’ve managed to spend more time reading my bible this year than last, though there’s definitely still plenty of room for improvement.
  • Don’t let pain rule my life
    • As many of you will know, I’ve had some health issues for a few years now, which I had hoped would have been resolved by 2 major operations. Unfortunately, despite the doctors being happy with the success of these operations, I have still been experiencing severe pain of the same nature I was getting prior to the initial diagnosis.
    • Therefore it has been an on-going struggle again this year to cope with my pain levels. Having said that though, due to all the other situations I’ve had to deal with this year, I’ve often just had to get on with things no matter how severe my pain has been.
    • On the whole I don’t think I’ve actually given in to my pain completely any more than maybe a 3 or 4 times this year, which looking back now, I find quite incredible.
  • Get back to playing tennis as stopped playing in 2003 when I first wasn’t well
    • I have failed miserably at this one!
    • There were a few times during the year when I was all set to go to the tennis club at the weekend when my friends would be there, but typically the Scottish weather put an end to those plans, and on following weeks other things would happen or we had other plans, so it just never happened.
  • Put aside a minimum of 5 minutes each day to spend some quiet-time with God
    • As with my aim to spend more time reading my bible, over the year, this has been a bit up and down – Some months I spent more than 5 minutes each day with God, others none at all.
    • Also depending on what’s been going on in my life at the time, and how I’ve been coping, some of these times with God have not exactly been quiet ones, as I’ve spent much of the time crying! They may not have been “quiet” times with God, but they were at least “times” with God where even although I couldn’t vocalise my prayers, I know God still knew what was in my heart.
  • Get back to playing the piano regularly as it’s been a while
    • I’ve failed at this one!
    • However I did get a brand new keyboard for my Christmas, therefore I will definitely make progress with in the coming weeks.
  • Go on holiday – we’ve not been away anywhere since 2002
    • Due to on-going health issues/concerns with various family members, this has not been possible.
  • Keep on top of the housework (especially the ironing mountain!)
    • I’ve said it before during some of my monthly updates, but I really do hate doing housework, and ironing is definitely my least favourite chore.
    • It’s should therefore be no surprise that I have failed miserably with this.
  • More patience and understanding of others
    • To me, I have managed to be a little bit more patient with other…though you may disagree!
    • I do find this incredibly difficult, particularly with certain people (who shall remain anonymous)
    • I continue to pray for patience daily.
  • Stop procrastinating
    • I’d say I’ve been successful with this aim, as I feel that, on the whole, I’ve managed to just get on with things.

So that’s my honest answers to how I got on this year with the aims/goals I set myself at the start of the 2012. Looking back now, I think my aims/goals have probably been too ambitious and too vague, as if I’m honest, there was probably no way I was ever going to achieve all these goals in one year. I also think my judgement on how successful I’ve been has been very subjective, so I should probably have made my goals more measurable. i.e. by measuring actual status at the start of the year and comparing with actual measurements at the end of the year.

In conclusion, I’m reasonably happy with what I’ve achieved this year. While I may not have been able to say I fully achieved very many of my goals I have made progress with a number of them which I’m definitely happy about.

How about you, how did you get on with your aims for 2012?

Whatever your aims were for this year, and regardless of whether you achieve any or all of them, I pray you managed to make progress, and that you have at least achieved all God had planned for you this year!

And Then There Were Three

Posted: December 29, 2012 in bereavement, blogging, Christmas, death, family, friendship, Health, heaven, holiday, life, love, music, pray, prayer, religion
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When I was very growing up, the whole family, including my gran, aunts, uncles and cousins, used to come to our house for dinner nearly every Christmas Day – There were a couple of years when we all went out to a local hotel or restaurant for dinner, but that was the exception rather than the rule.

christmas-family-dinner_tableOver the years the numbers gathering at Mum and Dad’s have dwindled significantly, as my cousins grew up and had their own families, and older members of the family passed away. For a number of years there was still four then five of us for Christmas dinner, as there was always Mum, Dad, Aunt Mae and me and then after I got married, Sandy joined us too. Although when Sandy’s Mum was still alive we usually had Christmas lunch with her and then joined with my Mum, Dad and Aunt Mae early evening. After Sandy’s Mum died, we, along with my Aunt Mae, we went to Mum and Dad’s for Christmas dinner.

Probably 3 or 4 years ago was when we first when back down to it being just 4 of us for dinner, as my Aunt Mae refused to come out her house to join us for Christmas dinner. As she’s now living in a local care home she’s obviously not able to have the option to join us.

Earlier this year, my Dad moved into a local nursing home as Mum was no longer able to care for him at home any more. That of course means we’ve been another person down this Christmas…so this year there was only three of us!

I know Mum has found this year particularly difficult as it’s the first year in over 55 years of marriage that Dad’s not been at home for Christmas. It’s sad how life moves on and people who are a huge part of our lives are no longer part of it. However it wouldn’t be life if the people we know and the circumstances we find ourselves in remained unchanged for long.

So however many of you there was for Christmas Day this year, I pray that while there may have been empty spaces at your table where once loved ones sat, you are happy in the knowledge that they are in heaven with God now, whole and pain-free.

Never forget those who are no longer alive, but have had an impact on your life, whether it was just for a brief moment or for many years, because they will still be watching over you, and will know they are on your mind.

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