What do I mean by the title of this blog? Well, when you’re feeling lonely, loneliness takes over your life: you eat, sleep, think and breathe it, and by doing that you can get yourself into a downward spiral which can very quickly spin out of your control.
When we’re lonely we long to be accepted, cared for, loved and hugged, but our feelings of isolation, make us more withdrawn than ever before and stop us from reaching out for help. We need friends more than ever when we’re struggling – we need them for support, understanding, encouragement and just for a hug to tell you they care.
It’s difficult to talk to people when you’re feeling alone and isolated, and it’s even harder to reach out and ask someone for help. If you are struggling the best thing you can do is force yourself to reach out to your friends and ask them for help, tell them how you’re feeling, tell them you need them – You may be surprised by how many people are there to help you.
I’m writing all this and thinking I’m a bit of a hypocrite as when I’m struggling, I do exactly what I’ve said, I recoil into myself and get quieter and less willing or able to talk with anyone. I really do need to take my own advice although I know why I don’t: I reached out to a someone I thought was a close friend a few years ago for support and initially it was wonderful, they really did make a huge difference to me, but then they told me they couldn’t support me any longer and I was devastated. That devastation knocked me even down even lower and even more withdrawn and alone than I’d ever felt, so now I am terrified that may happen to me again. It took a huge amount for me to reach out to that person in the first place, that when they were no longer there for me I felt such a great void of emptiness and rejection. So to come back to why I think I sound like a hypocrite, yes I do need to take my own advice again as I’m sure my last experience was a one-off.
So if you’re feeling alone, reach out today and ask someone for help and support.
On the other hand, if you’re not feeling alone, look out for the signs of loneliness in those around you. Try to include those who seem alone, in your circle of friends. Comfort them, reassure them, support them, hug them – It may not seem like much, but believe me it can mean the world to someone who’s feeling lonely.
Friends and Friends Forever by Michael W Smith and Amy Grant