memoriesAs you’ll know if you’re a regular reader of my blog, I’ve been writing a number of posts giving some thoughts on how to cope with the death of a loved one.

Today I want to focus on boundaries…your boundaries!

Protect your boundaries – You are the only one who truly knows and understands how you feel and how you are coping with your grief.

Some will avoid speaking to you as they will find it difficult to know what to say to you, others will offer words of comfort and extend their sympathies to you. Some will extend invitations to you, or ask you to take on tasks – Don’t pressurize yourself into saying, “Yes“. Instead, give yourself permission to say, “No thank you” or “I’ll pass on it for now”. Remember it’s about you, and how you are feeling, it’s not about any one else.

Another way of protecting your personal boundaries is to accept an invitation from someone, but put some limits on it. e.g. Tell them, “Yes, I will be happy to join you, but please know that I may have to excuse myself a little earlier than others”.

Finally, remember when you’ve suffered a bereavement it’s ok to protect your personal boundaries. However if you accept an invitation that’s been offered to you, don’t fret about it, because the anticipation of the occasions is always much worse than it actual turns out to be. Rest assured that, with God‘s grace, the occasion will not be nearly as difficult as you think it will.

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” ~ Psalm 34:18

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