Archive for the ‘bereavement’ Category

30 years ago today, the worst disaster in British sporting history happened during an FA Cup semi-final football match between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest at Hillsborough Stadium in Sheffield.

With 96 fatalities and 766 injuries, so many families were affected by what happened that day. So many people left their homes to go and watch a football match, and never got to return home. It was a desperately sad day for everyone involved, and even for those of us who watch the TV as news of the terrible events unfolded.

Today, 30 years on, we remember not only the 96 people who lost their lives, but those who were injured and the families of all those who were caught up in the those awful events.

When I discovered that a band I’ve seen a number of times had written song specifically to remember this tragic event, I felt I had to share it with you. I not only remembers those who were killed but it’s also a great song.

So as you listen to The Christians sing Big Red Sky, remember those who were killed or injured at Hillsborough 30 years ago today.

 

Daddy’s Girl
My old man
I’m a chip off the old block
My old man
Is still living here
Not in flesh and bone, he’s never far from home
I’m forever walkin’ in my daddy’s shoes
I’ve got his misery, I got good company
Guess I’ll always be
My daddy’s girl
My momma sang
Call it inspiration
And she’s comin’ on through me
I can feel her now
Though she walks on the other side
To me she’s still quite alive
I’m forever rockin’ in my mommas arms
Mom had a broken heart
From a world just too damn hard
Mine breaks often cause I’m a momma’s girl
You spend a lifetime saying this is who I am
Then you find yourself saying something
You don’t understand, you look in the mirror
There you are
Your daddy’s girl
I came across these lyrics a few weeks ago, and they brought tears to my eyes. Not because they upset me, but because they reminded me of all the times Mum used to tell me and others how much of a Daddy’s girl I was.
These words have been on my mind even the last few days, as today marks six years since my Dad passed away. Neither Mum or Dad are here any more, but it doesn’t stop me thinking about them every day because I love and miss them so very much.
Although Mum and Dad have both gone, I hope their legacy lives on through me. I simply hope I make them proud.

I hope people think this is true about me

When someone is willing to die for you, I think it’s only right that we take them seriously and do all we can to tell others why that person is willing to die for us.

Let us each be a blessing and honour God’s names, because one day we will be together with the blind man Jesus healed, and the saints from all the ages, our friends and family who have gone before us, and we will be with God for eternity. On that day we will know for sure that everything we endured during our lifetime was for our good, and for the glory of God.

So today and tomorrow and the day after, remember that whatever we face, God is with us. And because of that we must accept his blessings and do our best to bless others and honour His glorious name.

I liked this picture when I first read it on a friend’s Facebook timeline. I wasn’t entirely sure why I liked it, but then it struck me, it’s probably because it tells us about something we don’t like but then immediately explains why experiencing that is actually good for us.

For example, maybe we think we feel sad all the time, that our life is not a happy one, but then we experience true sadness when someone close to us leaves us or passes away. It only then we realise how happy we really were in their presence, because now the sadness is so overwhelming.

So please have another read, thinking about how you can see yourself feeling each of those emotions or situations and simply, remind yourself just to appreciate what you currently have, because when it’s not there any more, there’s often no way to get back to where you are now, so you can truly appreciate what you have.

Have you ever stopped and thought what it would be like to be completely on your own, with all your family and friends have passed away?

That sounds such an awfully lonely place doesn’t it?

Well sadly there are many people in our world who find themselves in exactly those circumstances today. I wonder, what can we do to help them, so that they realise they are not on their own, and in fact are loved?

There are in fact many ways we can help people in our local communities who feel alone – Here’s a few suggestions:

  • We can become a volunteer in an organisation which helps the lonely and vulnerable people in your area.
  • We can give monetary donations to charities whose aim is to help or befriend those who feel alone.
  • We can pop in and visit people we know who are at risk of feeling alone – the elderly, those who have been bereaved of their life partner, single parents etc

As well as these suggestions, we can pray, because I believe praying for someone is the best thing we can do for someone.

Yesterday I spoke about the postcards we used to send our family and friends when we went on holiday, and how many times they would tell them “wish you were here”.

There are of course other times when we say “wish you were here”, and sadly at those times, that wish will never come true. When someone we love dies, it is of course a very emotional and difficult time, and so we may find ourselves saying we wish they were still here with us.

While we may wish those we love and care about will be with us forever, in reality it isn’t going to happen, because the only certain thing about life is that we will all die at some point. I don’t mean to make this a really morbid post, so I simply want to remind you that even through the hurt and heartache of losing someone we love, we must hold onto the precious moments we have spent with them. It won’t take away our heartache, but it will help you remember them just the way you loved them.

So yes, we wish our loved ones were still here with us, but if we keep focused on our memories, when we close our eyes, they will almost be here with us again.

When you’re alone with someone, whether you know them or not, how does it feel if there are a few minutes of complete silence when neither of you say a word?

Time is one of those strange things that although every second passes the same for each of us, one person may feel time has stood still another may feel as if it’s going by extra quickly.

Here’s a quote a came across from Henry Van Dyke which illustrates this:

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

In Ecclesiastes 3:11 we read:

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.

I’m sure we’ve all heard people say things such as:

  • You’ll be my friend forever
  • I’ll be eternally grateful if you could…
  • I’ll remember what you’ve done forever
  • I’ll always be there for you

I’m sure when those words are said, the person saying them has meant them. In reality though we are all human, after a period of time we often do not remember those statements that we said we’d keep forever and therefore we break them.

I’m sure we’ve also all had someone say to us that they know exactly how we feel, when we’re going though a tough time. But is it really possible for another person to truly know exactly how we feel?! I don’t know what your circumstances are at present, but here’s some words someone once said to me when I was going through a difficult time – “If you’re going through a tough or difficult time, don’t stop, just keep going“.

Tough times are temporary so no matter how difficult we may be finding life, we must always keep going. Remember, God put us on this earth for a reason, he planned out our life before we were born. And he knows what or how we’re feeling or thinking even before we know ourselves.

Sometimes it takes a brush with eternity – a crash, an illness, some shock to the system – to get you really thinking about what you want to do with your limited time here, and why you’re living on this wobbling dirt cloud in the first place. ~ Hampton Sides

Our time on this earth may be limited, but we god has planned our life out for us, we just need to follow his direction and he will stay by our side both in this life and for eternity.

2 Timothy 1:9

For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time–to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.

While we can’t always rely on others keeping promises to be there for us, or remember us forever, however God will. God’s love for us will stand the test of time and His love will last for time and eternity, all we need to do is trust Him.

I hope you enjoy listening to Bellshill Salvation Army band featuring Alex Ramsay on cornet and Chris Shanks on euphonium, playing Time and Eternity:

See me

Posted: April 25, 2018 in bereavement, death, education, family, friendship, life, music, words
Tags:

If they could see me now…

Words many of us will have said at some time – Maybe in relation to

  • family members who have passed away
  • teachers who told you you’d never achieve anything with your life
  • friends or colleagues that always put you down, believing they were better than you
  • friends you no longer keep in touch with

For me, I don’t really care about those from my past life who never believed I’d achieve anything with my life. I do however care that I make my Mum and Dad proud – I wish they were still here with me, but they’re not, so to me the best I can do is make them proud of me.

Just a few weeks ago as I was the cemetery after leaving flowers on a family grave, the song If you Could See Me Now by the Script was playing in the car. I think about my Mum and Dad every day as I miss them so very much, but since the day that song came on in the car, I’ve found myself thinking, if they could see me now…

 

If You Could See Me Now by The Script

It was February 14, Valentine’s Day
The roses came but they took you away
Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm
Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you’re gone
And I’ll never get to show you these songs
Dad, you should see the tours that I’m on
I see you standing there next to Mom
Both singing along, yeah on and on
And there are days when I’m losing my faith
Because the man wasn’t good, he was great
He’d say “Music was the home for your pain”
And explained I was young, he would say
Take that rage, put it on a page
Take that page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place
I’m trying to make you proud
Do everything you did
I hope you’re up there with God saying “That’s my kid!”
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
 

Walking by faith means you have the courage to stand up for everyone – the hurting, the broken, and the down-trodden – to face death yourself for the good of others.

If you agree to do this you’ll need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. You must be willing to let God take your world and turn it upside down, and start all over again. You must be willing to let God change how you see Him, and change how you life by letting Him use you the way that He sees fit.

Maybe God will ask you to do something you never dreamed you would ever do like foster or adopt children, leave your job and become a church minister, trade in all your worldly goods for God’s service…

Maybe God will challenge you. For example, how would you respond when life throws some devastating events at you – divorce, addiction, death of a child or sibling – all events that hurt like nothing else.

I don’t know how God may want to use you, but I do know that if you give your all to God, and allow Him to change your life, He will honour your request. He will take you on a journey, your journey by teaching you to walk by faith, and trust you with some of life’s most treasured moments with Him by your side.