Archive for the ‘bereavement’ Category

See me

Posted: April 25, 2018 in bereavement, death, education, family, friendship, life, music, words
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If they could see me now…

Words many of us will have said at some time – Maybe in relation to

  • family members who have passed away
  • teachers who told you you’d never achieve anything with your life
  • friends or colleagues that always put you down, believing they were better than you
  • friends you no longer keep in touch with

For me, I don’t really care about those from my past life who never believed I’d achieve anything with my life. I do however care that I make my Mum and Dad proud – I wish they were still here with me, but they’re not, so to me the best I can do is make them proud of me.

Just a few weeks ago as I was the cemetery after leaving flowers on a family grave, the song If you Could See Me Now by the Script was playing in the car. I think about my Mum and Dad every day as I miss them so very much, but since the day that song came on in the car, I’ve found myself thinking, if they could see me now…

 

If You Could See Me Now by The Script

It was February 14, Valentine’s Day
The roses came but they took you away
Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm
Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you’re gone
And I’ll never get to show you these songs
Dad, you should see the tours that I’m on
I see you standing there next to Mom
Both singing along, yeah on and on
And there are days when I’m losing my faith
Because the man wasn’t good, he was great
He’d say “Music was the home for your pain”
And explained I was young, he would say
Take that rage, put it on a page
Take that page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place
I’m trying to make you proud
Do everything you did
I hope you’re up there with God saying “That’s my kid!”
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
 

Walking by faith means you have the courage to stand up for everyone – the hurting, the broken, and the down-trodden – to face death yourself for the good of others.

If you agree to do this you’ll need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. You must be willing to let God take your world and turn it upside down, and start all over again. You must be willing to let God change how you see Him, and change how you life by letting Him use you the way that He sees fit.

Maybe God will ask you to do something you never dreamed you would ever do like foster or adopt children, leave your job and become a church minister, trade in all your worldly goods for God’s service…

Maybe God will challenge you. For example, how would you respond when life throws some devastating events at you – divorce, addiction, death of a child or sibling – all events that hurt like nothing else.

I don’t know how God may want to use you, but I do know that if you give your all to God, and allow Him to change your life, He will honour your request. He will take you on a journey, your journey by teaching you to walk by faith, and trust you with some of life’s most treasured moments with Him by your side.

Romans 6:7-11 (NLV)

When a man is dead, he is free from the power of sin. And if we have died with Christ, we believe we will live with Him also. We know that Christ was raised from the dead. He will never die again. Death has no more power over Him. He died once but now lives. He died to break the power of sin, and the life He now lives is for God. You must do the same thing! Think of yourselves as dead to the power of sin. But now you have new life because of Jesus Christ our Lord. You are living this new life for God.

Imagine hearing of the death of a loved one – you’d be devastated, upset, maybe even broken – but then for someone to come and tell you they had seen them alive and walking around again! I’m sure we would think they were mad!

But that’s exactly what happened when Jesus rose from the dead. Because Jesus did that we have been forgiven, and we have a future full of hope.

 

Today is Good Friday. The fact it’s called ‘Good‘ Friday suggests it is a happy and great day. However for God it was probably one of the worst days, the day His one and only son died. Can you imagine how that must have felt?

In Isaiah 53:1-5 (NLT) we read the following:

Who has believed our message? To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm. My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.

God always knew that the day would come, when to save the rest of us, Christ would have to die. It’s wonderful to know that God loves us this much isn’t it!

Don’t be strong. Be weak. Unclench your fists. Dare to be vulnerable. Honest weakness takes courage ~ Pete Greig

Admitting to weakness and vulnerability isn’t something many of us like to do, is it. That’s probably why when we go through difficult situations, we often experience symptoms such as insomnia, memory loss, weakness and vulnerability.

Telling someone not to be strong but to show their weakness, isn’t going to instantly make them share their weaknesses, and show how vulnerable they are. Instead they need to feel safe, they need to feel loved, so give them a hug, so that when they show their vulnerability they will not feel they are being judged but are safe.

So whether you are feeling vulnerable or know someone who is struggling, do what you need to do to dare to be vulnerable.

Once again this week, we’ve seen many killed in America by someone who decided to use guns they owned to needlessly kill others.

No wonder we find ourselves asking again, “where is love?”

Love is the only force capable of turning an enemy into a friend. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

With all that’s going on in the world it can be hard to believe sometimes that love can overcome evil. But if we believe in God, and believe in Jesus, we must believe God’s love can overcome the evil in this world.

How many are there in your immediate family?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Well, as some of will know, I don’t have any brothers or sisters so I’m an only child. I therefore have no idea what it’s like to have grown up with brothers or sisters – to play with, fight with, confide in and of course love.

When I was growing up, nearly all my friends had brothers or sisters. So I felt different because I never experienced the same childhood relationships with siblings that my friends did. These days I still sometimes wish I had brothers or sisters so I had someone to confide in, someone to talk to, particularly now my Mum and Dad are no longer here.

As I have no brothers or sisters, I’m also never going to be an aunt to anyone – I would have loved that, as I know from my own experience with my Aunt Mae, how special a relationship an aunt can have with their niece or nephew.

So for those of you who do have brothers or sisters, remember how lucky you are – even although you may argue and fight with your siblings and you may lead very different lives from your siblings – they are still your family so I’m sure you all still love one another, even if you wouldn’t openly say that to one another!

1 Timothy 5:5 (NIV)

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

The love between you and your brothers and sisters should be everlasting, because they are your family!

MerryChristmas

I’m not sure how many people will read this blog post as it’s Christmas day and most will busy with your family, eating, giving and receiving gifts, and celebrating Christmas. But if you are reading this let me wish you a very happy and blessed Christmas!

Christmas is time for family and friends, joy and celebration, but is it that for everyone? Sadly there will be many today who are alone, mourning the loss of a love one who have passed away or homeless. There are also those who may have thire family with them, but didn’t have enough money to buy any gifts or even buy a meal for them today.

So today as you celebrate, I ask you to take a few minutes out from your celebrations and pray for those who are finding today very difficult.

Enjoy your Christmas, and enjoy making new memories with your family today.

Merry Christmas!

Those of you who know me will know I have a few favourite Christian artists – one of them is Mark Schultz. So it was no surprise when I heard his song entitled “Different Kind of Christmas”, that I loved it. I first heard it just a few months after my Mum passed away, and so this song touched me because of the lyrics and the story behind it.

When we suffer loss, Christmas can be a really awful time as we are mourning our loss so deeply. Two years on from my Mum’s death and four years on from my Dad’s death, I’m still struggling, and in the last few weeks I’ve found myself missing them more than ever – probably because everyone I talk to is talking about spending Christmas with all their family.

Here’s what Mark Schultz had to say about his song:

This song is special for me and my family. I wrote it with my wife after her dad passed away 3 years ago. It was our first Christmas without him, and Kate was decorating for the holidays. She came into the garage holding a box of ornaments and had tears streaming down her face. She said to me, “it’s a different kind of Christmas this year”.

At some point in our life we will all lose someone that is close to us, and that first Christmas without them is a tough one to get through. I hope this song will bring comfort to those who are mourning the loss of someone this season. Please share it with someone who might need to hear it this year.

May the peace and love of Christmas be with you today and every day so that the pain and loss you may be feeling this Christmas, becomes a little more bearable.