Posts Tagged ‘child’

Do you remember when you were young being taught to say “Please” and “Thank you”?

Do you remember being asked, “Where are your manners?”, when you forgot to say “please” or “thank you”?

Although I don’t have any children of my own, I’ve witnessed other people saying those same things to their children. How about you, have you experienced this with your own children or other people’s’ children?

please and thank youI don’t know about you, but thinking about manners, and finding myself commenting on the habits (or missing habits!) of “the young”, makes me feel very old!

Do you find yourself getting annoyed when others don’t say “Please” or “Thank you” to you or is it just me?

I know I just commented that it’s the “young” that seem to be lacking manners these days, but to be honest I actually think it’s far more than just some younger folk that seem to have no manners anymore. e.g. Just the other day I was leaving one of our offices at work and stopped to hold the door on the way out for someone else who also worked there (I didn’t know them but knew they worked there too as they were wearing their id badge), she just walked through the door without uttering a word to me, or even looking in my direction!

What has happened to our society these days? Again maybe it’s just me, but I feel we’re becoming a less caring society, where many are so self-focused looking after themselves that they have no time be concerned or even consider how others feel.

Obviously what I’ve said here are generalisations, because I’m sure, like you, you can think of many younger folk who are polite and considerate to everyone. There’s plenty of folk like you and me out there who can continue to be polite and considerate towards others, and in doing so hopefully show there impolite folk that it costs nothing to show manners to others.

So go on, be polite and considerate, say “Please” and “Thank you” at all the applicable times, don’t care that some may think you’re strange or old-fashioned because you are showing your manners. After all Jesus didn’t care what others thought of Him, but instead continued to show how much He loved and cared for each one of us. We must help make this world a more caring place where everyone cares about their neighbour and goes that extra mile to help someone in need, because that’s what Jesus did!

#NAW2012 – National Adoption Week 5th – 11th November 2012

Earlier this week I heard on the radio that this is National Adoption Week here, and as adoption is something which is particularly close to my heart, I wanted to highlight this in my blog.

One of the main things which made me want to blog about this is, that on the radio they mentioned that so many people rule themselves out of adoption before even starting going through the adoption process, simply because they assume they wouldn’t be accepted as potential adopters.

There are 10 steps to adopting:

  1. Apply
  2. Attend an open day / Join preparation course
  3. Assessment
  4. Adoption panel
  5. Link with a child(ren)
  6. Match with a child(ren)
  7. Meet the child(ren)
  8. Move in
  9. Make adoption legal
  10. Live together

That may all sound quite daunting, but from the minute you express an interest in adopting, you will be given support and information, helping make this process as smooth as possible. There are so many children who are in need of the love and support a stable family life can offer them, so please, if you are able, please seriously consider adoption.

For those of you currently going through the process of adoption, I’d like to wish you all the best, and say thank you for putting yourself forward to adopt.

For those of you who have already adopted a child/children, I’d like to say a big thank you.

On behalf of all children in need of a loving family, I’d like to ask you to consider whether you could give a child/children a loving and supportive environment to grow.

So if you’re interested or want more details about adoption, please count yourself in right from the start…give a child, and yourself, a chance of having a loving family, and contact your local authority adoption team or an approved voluntary adoption agency (use the BAAF agency directory).

Go on rule yourself in for adopting!

You can get more information about #NAW2012 at the NAW website: www.nationaladoptionweek.org.uk

A little while ago, someone  told I didn’t show respect to someone. What that person seemed to forget is that respect is not something that can automatically be acquired, it’s something you must earn!

I was not aware of having said or done anything wrong, and was deeply hurt and upset, to be accused of being disrespectful to someone simply because I showed concern for one of my family member. To me that is disrespectful, not taking a phone call from a family member who was attending the hospital!

Anyway, rant over, now to consider the whole issue of respect!

So what is respect?

  • to have an attitude of esteem towards; show or have respect for to respect one’s elders;
  • to pay proper attention to;
  • to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly;
It’s all well and good to say you pay proper attention to someone, but that is really only part of the story isn’t it! Respect is a two-way thing, after all, how can you respect someone if they show no regard for you or your family and friends? If someone shows no compassion or concern for you or the things that are important to you, it makes it very difficult for you to respect them.
Respect is something I guess we all want from others, so to enable that to happen, make sure you show compassion, care and concern for your fellow human beings. Then and only then are others likely to show you respect!

 Your children!

There are plenty of people who would love to have children but for one reason or another are unable to.

There are loads of people who have children but because of family circumstances they never see or have contact with their children.

There are those who have sadly lost their children…I’m sure they think of their children daily.

Isn’t it sad that there can be so many people around us who are grieving in some way for children; whether that be a child that has died, a child they have lost contact with, or indeed a child they have never even had!

Isn’t it even sadder that we hear and see so many stories in the news of people who have physically or emotionally abused a child…a child who in many instances, probably trusted that adult to look after and care for them, but instead did unspeakable thing to them which the child will never fully recover from.

It’s because of this that I urge you to never ever take your children for granted…by “your children” I of course am not just talking about any children you are the parent of, but also any children who is in your care at any time!

Children should be able to trust adults to look after and care for them, and teach/show them only what is good, it’s therefore down to us to make sure we do all we can to make sure we do all we can for the children.

In yesterday’s blog post Family…Who Needs Them?! I spoke about how within our own families, many of us have at least one person we feel we can turn to for help and support in any situation. In addition also reminded you that there are many folk who do not have the option of turning to a family member because they are either estranged from them or have no family.

Today I’d like to think about those who have no biological family but who still consider themselves to have family either because they’ve been adopted, fostered or have been living with non family members and are considered to be “part of the family”.

Isn’t it amazing how people can take other’s children into their home and their life, and love and care for them, as if they were their own flesh and blood. I wonder how many children’s lives have been totally turned around because someone has given them an opportunity to be part of a family?

If you are considering fostering or adopting a child or children, thank you on behalf of every child that you give a home and a family toYou are their gift from God, just as much as they are your gift from God.

 

The last couple of days I’ve been thinking about the image of Christ and also our own image and whether we look and act like other members of our family. Well today, something slightly different, but still on the subject of image…

I’m going to show my age in this blog post by commenting on “youngsters these days”!

Here goes…

Image seems to mean so much to teenagers and young adults these days, that they seem to want to spend lots of their money on cosmetics and fashion items. This seems so different from when I was that age…though maybe I’m just getting forgetful in my old age! Lol

I certainly never had the money to go and buy myself lots of makeup and fashion clothes when I was a teenager, and it wasn’t that I was the only one who was like this, it just wasn’t the done thing a few years ago. Even when I started working, the things I bought with my wages were things I needed as a necessity. i.e. Work clothes. Buying some great fashion item or new makeup was a luxury I had to save up for, and to  be honest I think I appreciated my things more than I think kids these days do.

Here’s a question for you – Are the kids these days getting so much pocket money and so much freedom to spend their money, that they can buy whatever they desire?

Personally I think these days children are trying to “grow-up” and pretend they are adults long before they really are adults. I know some of the reason for this is probably down to the strong influences they see on TV from pop stars and other celebrities but this doesn’t make it right!

I know what I have just said is a massive generalisation, however I firmly believe that we should allow our children to look and act like children, not dress themselves up in clothes and makeup to make themselves look 5 or 10 years older than they actually are.

After all, how many people do you know who are well into their adult years who are still very immature, both in the way they act and in the real-life experiences they have had?

Childhood is a major part of every person’s life, it’s when we learn most and probably also when we are free to have more fun in our lives than we maybe are when we’re older and have the responsibilities that go with that (e.g. mortgage, work, children etc).

Please encourage your children to be children rather than pretending to be someone/something they are not…they need their childhood!

We often hear people saying that we

should cherish the children because they are the future

…but are they?

Personally I don’t agree with this statement. Does that surprise you? It may not surprise you quite as much when I tell you why I disagree with this statement…

For me we must cherish the children because they are the present as well as the future!

Yes, until the children are grown up they may not be able to have the impact on our community and society that we would hope, however if we don’t teach them in God‘s ways when they are children, they will never be the adults we, or God need and want them to be.

Deuteronomy 10:12 (NIV)

what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul

Many couples try for a long time to try to have children, but are unsuccessful. Others seem to have no difficulty at all at conceiving.

When you find out you’re expecting a child, do you thank God for the privilege He has bestowed on you, or do you simply get caught up in the news?

1 Samuel 1:28 (NIV)

So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he shall be given over to the LORD. And he worshipped the LORD there.

When we have children, one way we can give thanks to God for the child, is to “give the child back to God” – But what does this actually mean? This is usually done in a dedication or christening service:

  • The child is blessed, to represent what Jesus did when children were brought to Him: “he took the children in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them” (Mark 10:13-16)
  • The parents make promises to bring the child up in a Christian way, and to teach the child about God

Give thanks to God for the children. Teach the children about God and show them how to live their life for God.

When I was younger, I used to dream about having children. I never really had any great thoughts on how many kids I wanted or whether I’d prefer boys or girls. Now however, I dream of what life might have been like if we’d ever had children…

When you meet new new people or get into conversation with someone you’ve never really spoken to before, what are some of the first few things you ask them about themselves?

My guess is, if they’re married or you know they have a partner, you’ll ask them if they have any kids, or how many kids they have, would I be right?

It’s funny how when you’re married or have a partner, it’s almost expected by most people that you’ll have kids. Sometimes when I’ve been asked if we have kids and I’ve answered no, I seen looks of shock and confusing and it’s almost as if people are trying to compute why having been married for a number of years we’ve not had any children.

Yes, maybe most couples do have children and it isn’t the “norm” not to have children, but have you ever considered that maybe it’s not through choice that some couples are childless? Unfortunately for many, for a variety of reasons it’s not been possible for them to have children. e.g. infertility of male and/or female, concerns over health of childbearer.

I still find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that we’re not going to have kids, and often struggle when asked about whether we have kids or not. I sometimes wonder if I am in fact jealous of those who have kids, and often pray that God will continue to help me totally accept my situation and not feel any jealousy towards others just because they are fortunate to have children.

God decides what happens and doesn’t happens in our lives. He has decided that children are not part of His plan for us. I know He has very good reasons for this and know He has other things in life planned for me.

So in answer to the question, “How many kids do we have”, my answer is “none”, but please please please don’t look all shocked and surprised by my response.

…sadly, this is often how it can feel when you have no children and all those you spend time with, have kids.

Before I go any further with this blog post I just want to clarify a couple of things following my blog post Childless = Alone from Friday night:

  • I really do love children, I’m just sorry we’ve not gt any of our own.
  • I do not dislike others talking about their kids, however if all you want to talk about in my presence is your kids and how much you want another child, and that you can’t wait to have another child, please don’t be surprised if I’m just a tad upset!

I don’t know about you but have you noticed how many leisure activities/events are geared towards families? I have!

I’ve found that no matter where we go or what we’re involved in, many of the events or activities that are organised, are focused on families and/or the children in particular. Again I must stress that children are important and we must ensure we do all we can to make them feel wanted and part of the group, however what are those of us without kids supposed to do, or feel?

If we turn up to family events, there’s little for us, as much is aimed around the children or the parents and their children. If we don’t turn up at all, no-one notices…and then we feel excluded.

Can I tell you the one place when I find I feel excluded most, because we have no children? Sadly I have to tell you that it’s at my church. What makes it even more difficult for me at my church is that I’m the only person in my family who attends that particular church, and therefore whenever there are family events on I really am excluded as I have no family there.

The worst occasions for me are always the meetings when we are told it’s a family service so instead of sitting in our usual place in the band/songsters/congregation, we’re asked to sit with our family – These are the times when I seriously wonder if anyone considers how those of us with no family there, feel. I can honestly say I always avoid attending these meetings, and as far as I’m aware no-one has ever noticed – at least I’ve never been asked why I wasn’t there.

I know no-one will even intentionally have meant to make anyone feel excluded or uncomfortable, because I can assure you it is hard on those of us with no children, and doubly hard on those of us who have no other family at the event.

Please remember we are all God‘s children, and as such we must love everyone equally. Don’t discriminate, either on purpose or by accident, against those of us who have no children or have no other family members around them, as we can feel alone and excluded during family events.

I hope you enjoy this video of Child of God by Kathryn Scott: