Posts Tagged ‘lonely’

Have you every felt completely alone? If you have you will probably be able to relate to the this

If you’ve never felt lonely, you probably do not understand how anyone can possibly feel even lonelier when other people engage in conversation with them. Just because someone talks to you, it doesn’t mean they have realised how lonely you feel, or that to you, their words seem empty because all you really need is a friend, someone who sees your struggle and just holds you to help reassure you that all will be ok.

There are things we all fear, but there are also things specific to each of us, that we fear. For example:

  • fear of failure;
  • fear of growing old;
  • fear of making a fool of yourself;
  • fear of being alone.

Whatever your specific fears, don’t let them overwhelm you! Instead focus on your dreams, and believe you can achieve them. Positive thoughts, make positive results, so be led by the dreams in your heart.

As many of you will be aware I’ve been off work on sick leave for a number of weeks. As I’ve been unable to do very much I’ve found myself watching TV programmes which I wouldn’t normally watch. What I’ve noticed though in the last two or three weeks is that the focus of the adverts in between programmes has changed – Not only it is now adverts about Christmas, Black Friday deals and bargains but nearly every second advert is one highlighting either people or animals in need of our help by giving a donation to their charity.

While I understand that charities need the public to donate to them so they can continue their work, but really, does there need to be quite so many of these adverts on all day, it really is very depressing. Please don’t think I don’t care about these charities, as that’s not the case – it’s depressing for two reasons:

  • No matter how much I may want to give to each and every charity, there’s no way I can support them all, but they all have an uncanny way of making me feel guilty if I don’t donate!
  • The adverts highlight just how much need there is in this world, and how many awful people there are who are cruel or abusive to people and animals.

Each of these adverts show shocking images of children, adults and animals who’ve been abused or neglected – All designed to pull at our heart-strings and persuade us to donate to their cause. How I wish this world was a better place where no one is abused, homeless, alone, or hungry.

So while these charity adverts are a hard watch, and make me feel guilty, it does remind me of all those who are far less fortunate than I am.

If each of us could give what we can to the charities/causes that we feel are most in need of our help, we can make a difference, and help make this world a better place.

It seems like only a few weeks ago it was Christmas 2017 and we were heading into 2018, so how are we nearly half-way through August already!

I know some say that time seems to pass quicker the older we get.

I’m not sure I necessarily agree with that, as I think it’s just that everyone is so busy these days that our days go by much quicker than they used to.

In a time where technology allows us to communicate with others 24/7, keep up to date with news and events both home and abroad throughout the day and night, is it any wonder we all find ourselves living busy lives?

It’s always at the back of my mind though that there are so many people who don’t have any family or friends to call on, or talk to.

Isolated, alone and feeling like no-one cares about them.

Isn’t it time we start to care about everyone in the community?

It’s our responsibility as neighbours, colleagues, friends, to look out for those who have no-one else.

I therefore challenge you today to be the person who makes a positive difference in someone else’s life today – Will you take up my challenge?

Everyone is different; Everyone has different hopes and dreams; Everyone reacts differently to every situation and feels different emotions.

Just as we are all different, so are the reasons people feel lonely.

Some go through their life constantly feeling lonely – A loneliness that doesn’t seem to be related to any other events or circumstances. Why some people feel lonely and others don’t, is difficult to determine but here are a few circumstances/reasons that may contribute to their feelings of loneliness:

  • They have no self-esteem and lack confidence.
  • They don’t like themselves so feel no-one else can like them either.
  • They may feel that when they were a child, they weren’t loved, and therefore when they become adults they continue to feel alone and unloved in all relationships

i hate feeling aloneWhen people feel lonely they may cut themselves off from friends/family and may stop socialising or attending gathering whether they will be forced to face many people, so that they don’t have to face a world of people they feel unconnected to.

Others may react completely differently, and can try to avoid being on their own, by always trying to have someone in their company, so they are not on their own. They can even make a point of , and will seek out other people to avoid having to face their own company.

If you find you are hiding away from others, avoiding social activities, please remember that you are not the only one who feels like this, many others feel the same way. There are understanding people and organisations that you can talk to. They can help you overcome these feelings of loneliness so you can get back to getting on with your life.

Get living!

Everyone is different; Everyone has different hopes and dreams; Everyone reacts differently to every situation and feels different emotions.

Just as we are all different, so are the reasons people feel lonely.

alone2When our circumstances change – e.g. move to a new area, start a family, divorce, bereavement, unemployment – some find it exciting and positive while others will find it painful, emotional and very lonely.

If your partner or job boosted your self-esteem and made your life meaningful is suddenly no longer there, everything, you may find life feels hopeless and futile.

While we can be in control of some of our circumstances, others are just part of life – it’s these circumstances that can contribute to feelings of loneliness. As I mentioned yesterday, identifying the real cause of your loneliness is the first step to you overcoming it, and that is true if the cause of your loneliness is your circumstances.

Good luck!

I wonder how many people have ever googled, “What to do when you feel lonely?” – When they feel those deep pangs of loneliness and don’t know how they can cope.

lonelinessWhen we go to the doctors, we don’t expect them to give us a prescription before we even tell them our symptoms do we, so why do we hope for help when we ask a generic question about loneliness without first trying to establish why we feel lonely?

Instead of randomly trying things, hoping a generic one solution fits all will suddenly solve our problems, and then losing further hope and feeling worse when it doesn’t work, it’s better to identify what is causing you to feel lonely first. For example

  • If you used to be happy in your own company, what’s changed?
  • Do your friends make you feel lonely?
  • Do you feel isolated or alone at work or in your daily surrounding?

Once you identify the real cause of your loneliness it will help you find a way to take appropriate action and find a solution.

Good luck!


We all go through times in our lives when, for one reason or another, people who are a big part of our lives are no longer there, maybe because they’ve moved away, our relationship with them has broken down or they have passed away. Whatever the reason for them no longer being part of your live, you miss them.

Have you ever wondered whether they miss you as much as you miss them?

It shouldn’t just be when people are miles away from us that we miss them, what about your neighbour next door, your friend round the corner, your work colleague who’s been off work for a few days, a member of your church family who’s been absent for a few weeks, your local shopkeeper whose shop has been closed for a few days?

If we don’t tell people we miss them, how will they ever feel needed, how will they ever feel part of your community?

Everyone likes to feel needed. Everyone likes to know they’ve been missed.

Everyone needs to feel needed. Everyone needs to know they’ve been missed.

Thankfully there is one person who always notices when we’re missing, and misses us, God.

Are you looking for simple ways to encourage your heart and nourish your soul?

In the last while I’ve given you some ideas which will hopefully inspire you to implement them in your own life, and over the coming weeks I’ll share some others with you.

So here’s today’s suggestion:

Connect with others

We shouldn’t need a reason to ask our friends and acquaintances how they are, so today’s suggestion to brighten your day, is to simply ask others how they are!

Let this simple act of asking others how they are, remind you that this small act could be the huge lift that person may be needing today. We never truly know how those we see or talk to each day, really are – some may be facing health problems, depression, have financial concerns, worried about family members or lonely – so by simply asking them how they are, will prove to them that someone loves them and cares for them, and that is a powerful message.

Brighten your day by brightening someone else’s day!

A lonely day is God’s way of saying that he wants to spend some quality time with you ~ Criss Jami

I must be honest and say that, yes, I do feel lonely sometimes, so that’s why when I came across this wonderful quote it really struck a chord with me. As I said in yesterday’s blog post Schedule, we all need to make sure we spend quality time with God each day, so maybe by being so busy doing our own thing we are neglecting God, and neglecting our own needs.

So don’t be lonely, spend quality time with God each day, as He is the best friend you can ever have.