Posts Tagged ‘mentor’

I was recently in a meeting where someone stated that a particular piece of work had to be completed by the end of May…

Before I got any further I should point out that this piece of work has not yet been started, and no discussion had taken place between the person stating the deadline and those responsible for ensuring the work was done…

On hearing the deadline I immediately indicated that this timescale was not achievable, to which I was informed the work had to be done by then. Again I stated the timescale was not achievable…and yet again I was told there was no debate it had to be done by the end of May.

I gave up trying to get my point across at this point, realising instead that no matter what I said the person in question was not going to listen to me, or indeed ask me why the I felt the deadline was not achievable despite the fact that  I am allegedly managing the day to day work of this project (of which the task in question was one piece of work).

Since that meeting I have since been informed that I was “abrupt” and “unhelpful”! I was astonished – all I felt I had done was indicate what the rest of us at the meeting knew! I have also been told that the May deadline we were informed of at the meeting is in fact a target which management would like to achieve, however they still want to know if this is achievable or not – This was most definitely not the way the information was given to us at the meeting, as we were simply told there was no debate about the deadline. I was even more annoyed then!

On review, maybe I did overreact a bit at the meeting when I was first informed of the deadline, however I still feel the way the information was given to us, and the phraseology used, made those of us involved in the project feel demoralised and our opinions not valued.

So why am I telling you all about this? Well I just wanted to give you a great example of how not to convey a message to your team/colleagues, as also an example of how to let your team/colleagues think you don’t value them. I for one was certainly annoyed and demoralised by the whole incident.

Make sure you get the message over to people in the way you want. i.e. be clear and concise in what you’re saying because if you don’t phrase your message correctly and use the right words, your listeners are likely not to understand your message in the way you intended.

More importantly though, please remember that…

Everyone is important. Everyone’s opinion matters. We may not always agree with one another but at least let them express their opinions and their reasons, because you never know they might come up with something useful, relevant and important!


We’ve been thinking about influences the last few days (Looking or Not and Your Influence), but today I want to focus your thoughts on those who have influenced you.

Who have been or are your biggest influences?

For each person you’ve identified as an influence in your life, consider the following:

  • Do they know how much they have influenced you? (don’t assume anything!)
  • Are they a positive or negative influence?

Positive Influencers

Positive influencers can be many things. Here’s a few examples:

  • make you feel happy
  • help you grow spiritually
  • mentor you in a work capacity

If they’ve been a good influence on you:

  • Have you told them that?
  • Have you thanked them?

Go on, tell them the next time you’re speaking to them, it may well make their day!

Negative Influencers

Negative influencers can be many things. Here’s a few examples:

  • make you feel worthless/useless
  • encourage you to do/say things that you don’t agree with
  • continually mood or talk negatively

How long have you know they are a negative influence you? Or have I just focused your thoughts so you could identify them for the first time?

Take control of your live! Don’t let negative influences continue to influence you. I don’t mean you have to stop talking to the people you feel are negative influences on you – I just think it’s more about you taking control of your life, and deciding for yourself what and who influences you. I have people in my life who are bad influences on me, so I know I need to take my own advice and not let these people influence me in this way any longer.

The Change by Steven Curtis Chapman:

C’mon, together we can overcome our negative influencers and be more positive people!