Posts Tagged ‘pain’

Public face

Posted: May 1, 2017 in depression, friendship, life, quotes, Relationships

Are you a different person in public than you are in private?

Do you find you have to “put on a public face” when you’re with others, just so you can get through the day?

When you put on your “public face” on do you fool everyone into thinking you’re ok? If your anything like me, even when you put on your “public face” and tell others you’re ok, there are a select few who always know something is wrong no matter how good my acting skills are!


Just as well we all have a few close friends who know us so well. So much so that, no matter how much we try to hide how we really feel, they always know when something is wrong.

adding to our suffering

I don’t know about you, but I know that when I’m tired, stressed or in pain, I find I am prone to overreacting to things that normally wouldn’t bother me. I am also find I have a habit of taking things far too personally.

I’ve found that now I have recognised my triggers for these feelings, I can recognise when these situations arise and attempt to stop myself from overreacting…I may not always be successful in stopping myself from overreacting, but I hope I am able to prevent myself from adding to my own pain all because I overreact.

In the last few days I’ve spoken about how we sometimes struggle to face each day, and then yesterday I asked what helps you to get through a day when you are struggling. In answer to this question, I told you that for me, when I am struggling to carry on, a hug from someone you knows and understands how I’m feeling, can be exactly what I need to give me the strength to carry on.

Here’s some things a hug can help with:


Any of those suggestions ring true with you? There’s certainly a few I can relate to!

If you see someone who’s struggling with life, go on give them a hug, it could just be the thing that gives them the reassurance and strength to carry on!

Sometime life can be a real struggle.

Sometime our tears seem never ending.

Sometime it can feel like no-one real knows and understands how difficult we are finding life.

Sometimes life can pull us down, and make us want to give.

Thankfully, if we start the day with God, we can look forward in peace and positivity.


Once again since Christmas, we’ve been trying to clear out the house a bit, as we seem to have accumulated things which either we’ve never used in years, or have forgotten we had bought, and therefore we don’t really need. Why is it that we hold onto so many things “just in case we need it”, because over all these years I could count on one hand the number of times that “just in case” moment has every happened!

It can be hard work to clearing out cupboards/wardrobes/attics of things we no longer need in our lives, sometimes made harder because we come across items which remind us of specific people, situations or events and that can cause us to reminisce and sometimes upset us and distract us from what we’re trying to do.

Maybe at the start of this new year, we need to not only clear out our physical belongs but also clear out our hearts and minds of hurts and disappointments that we are still holding onto. By holding onto hurts and disappointments and not giving them over to God, my guess would be that, if we’re honest with ourselves, they are probably still causing us more pain and hurt because we are still holding onto them.

So this new year why not clear out your emotional baggage as well as your physical belongs by giving them all to God and leaving them there, because in doing so you will feel as though a burden has been lifted from you.


Take all of these impurities
Giving You this wretched soul
I’m giving You these insecurities
Giving You all control


I doubt if any of us can claim to have a perfect life, but still there are those who think just because you smile, life is perfect. In fact life may be far from perfect, it may be full of physical pain, emotional stress and anguish, sorrow, despair…but still we smile because we know God loves us.

Please remember that just because someone looks ok on the outside doesn’t mean they are fine, as many of us are experts at “putting on” a public face to hide the pain and struggles we face on a daily basis.


In my previous Relationships posts #1 – 7,  I indicated that during my wanderings through the internet, I’d come across a lot of statements and quotes about relationships. So it time to share some more of my favourites:

  1. True happiness comes from within, not from someone else. Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy.i-love-you
  2. Eventually, if you’re lucky in life, you find someone with the same chemical imbalance you have. ~Robert Brault
  3. Good company upon the road is the shortest cut. ~Author Unknown
  4. Never neglect the people who are most important to you simply because you think they will always be there. Because one morning you might wake up and realize you lost the moon while counting the stars.
  5. Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.
  6. Today, befriend a stranger, or if you feel up to more of a challenge, befriend a loved one. ~Robert Brault
  7. Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you’re really strangers. ~Mary Tyler Moore
  8. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. ~Wayne W. Dyer
  9. Once you find someone to share your ups and downs, downs are almost as good as ups. ~Robert Brault
  10. Instead of judging people by their past, stand by them and help repair their future.

My personal favourite is #4 as it’s a reminder that we should never takes our closest friends and family for granted. Instead we must tell them regularly how much they mean to us, otherwise they may never know just what they mean to you.

I hope you never take your closest relationships for granted as suddenly finding these people no longer in your life one day will cause you heartache and pain, so look after your relationships by telling those you love just how much they mean to you.

Since Christmas, we’ve been attempting to clearout some of the stuff we’ve accumulated in the last that we’ve either never used since we bought it, or had completely forgotten we had and therefore we obviously never really needed!

Why is it that we convince ourselves that the box that we received a delivery in 6 months ago “might come in handy for something”, that the shopping receipts from a number of months ago were still worth keeping, or that a pair of trousers that haven’t fitted in 4 years might just suddenly fit next month…who are we trying to kid?!

Sometimes it’s not just our physical belongs that we need to clearout, as we can often find that we hold onto disappointments and hurts that happened a long time ago and which are only causing us more pain and hurt because we are holding onto them. Sometimes we just need to clearout our emotional baggage and how do we do that? By giving them all to God, as He can release us from the pain and hurt they continue to cause us.

So make this new year a time to give all your painful, hurts and disappointments to God and leave them with Him, you will feel as though a burden has been lifted from you when you do.


Take all of these impurities
Giving You this wretched soul
I’m giving You these insecurities
Giving You all control

Less Like Scars by Sara Groves

It’s been a hard year
But I’m climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it’s

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It’s less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn’t feel the power or the hope
I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you’re here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
 Look less like scars [x3]

And more like character

Yes, as the above song says, it’s been a tough year for me. Having said that, it is getting a little easier, although I most definitely still have some very tough days, when I feel as if my world has fallen apart, not just because of the death of both my Dad and my Aunt Mae, but also because other events and developments this year.

What keeps me going? Sometimes, if I’m honest, I don’t really know what gets me through each day. Other times I am sure it’s because of those around me. I know that know matter what kind of day I’m having, and what kind of challenges I’m facing, God is with me and helping me, and help to heal my wounds.

If your life seems full of open wounds, turn to God, He can help heal your wounds.

On Wednesday in Struggling Through Each Day, I talked about the emotional struggles facing me to get through each day. Today it’s about other reasons that make it difficult to get through each day, and that is physical pain.

StruggleAs many of you will know I’ve had some serious health issues over the last ten years. Despite several operations and numerous hospital visits and countless test, I’m still experiencing pain on a regular basis, and it’s often quite severe.

For me, I find my emotional state often ties quite closely to my physical well-being, as days when I’m experiencing sever pain, are more often than not the days that I struggle most emotionally too.

Please don’t think I’m sharing this with you all looking for sympathy, as that is definitely not the case. Just like days when I’m struggling emotionally when I put on my “public face” to try to hide my emotional struggles, I do exactly the same when it comes to “hiding” just how much physical pain I’m in as I’m not the kind of person who likes lots of attention.

People can have emotional struggles for many reasons, some difficult to explain, others with very obvious triggers.

Whatever the reason for your struggle, try not to be annoyed or upset by what others may think of you, as your struggles with emotional and/or physical pain is very real to you, and that is what’s important.