Posts Tagged ‘parents’

That moment when you’ve set off in the car on your holidays, and then about an hour into the journey the words “I’m not sure I remembered to lock the back door” echo round the car!

When I was younger, this or similar phrases were uttered not long into the start of our annual car journey south at the start of our summer holidays. Mum always had second or third thoughts about whether she’d turned this or that off, or lock a door or something along those thins.

If I remember correctly, I don’t think we ever turned round and went back home to check anything, although I think a couple of times we maybe stopped and phoned my aunt, who had spare keys for the house, to ask her to check everything was ok. Other times I recall Dad and I both convincing Mum that whatever it was she thought she’d forgotten to do, we had checked and it was ok.

No matter how we ended Mum worrying about something she thought she’d forgotten, there was never an occasion where it turned out Mum had forgotten to do something! How many times have we all done that, gone out, and thought you’ve forgotten something, but in reality you very rarely have?

So whether you’ve had you’re moment of thinking you’ve forgotten something when you head off on holiday this summer, or you’ve still to go on holiday, be assured that it’s more than likely that you haven’t forgotten to do something important before you head out your house on holiday.

As I mentioned yesterday (in What does home mean? #1), home for most of us is where we live. However for some, they may consider more than one place or house to be their “home”.

Confused? Let me explain – Home can be the place were we currently live, but it could also be the place where we used to live, where our parents still live, where we grew up.

home-sweet-homeThat was true for me until just a few months ago, as home for me was the place where I lived with my husband, but home was also still the place I grew up in, where my Mum still lived. Sadly my Mum passed away last year, and so we moved back to the home I had grown up in, to my Mum and Dad’s house.

It’s been strange in many ways being back “home”, with my Mum and Dad no longer there, and it now being our home. I still find myself talking about “my Mum and Dad’s house”  instead of “our house” even although we’ve been living here for a few months now, although I guess for me it’ll always be “Mum and Dad’s house” as I spent many of my childhood years here, and this was the house I left from the day I got married.

Strangely it didn’t take me very long to stop calling our flat “home” after we moved out, even though we’d lived there for all our married life. For me now though, there is just one home, and that’s both the home I grew up in and the home I’m living in once again.

What does home mean to you?

I came across the following song a few weeks ago and the words really struck home with me and have stayed with me:

I can’t believe that you’re really gone now
Seems like it’s all just a dream
How can it be that the world will go on
When something has died within me?

Leaves will turn, my heart will burn with colors of you
Snow will fall but I’ll recall your warmth
Summer wind breathing in your memory
I’ll miss you

But there will be a time when I’ll see your face
And I’ll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I’ll hold you close
No more tears to cry ’cause we’ll have forever
But I’ll say goodbye for now

I can’t imagine my life without you
You’ve held a place all your own
Just knowing you were beneath the same sky
Oh, what a joy I have known

On rainy days, in many ways, you’ll water my heart
On starry nights I’ll glimpse the light of your smile
Never far from my heart you’ll stay with me
So I’ll just wait

‘Cause there will be a time when I’ll see your face
And I’ll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I’ll hold you close
No more tears to cry ’cause we’ll have forever
But I’ll say goodbye for now

But there will be a time when I’ll see that face
And I’ll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I’ll hold you close
No more tears to cry ’cause we’ll have forever
But I’ll say goodbye for now

Three years today since my Dad died, but it still feels like it was today. I miss Dad, I miss my Mum and I miss my Aunt Mae, but I am reassured by my knowledge that I will one day be reunited with them.

In the last couple of months I’ve spoken several times about how I’ve felt as if I’m running on auto pilot. But do you understand what i mean?

A pilot is normally associated with aeroplanes, however a pilot is really just described as someone who leads or guides. So for me what that meant was, I was going through the motions, doing and saying all the things I was supposed to without really feeling as though I was really there or really in control of what I was saying or doing…I was there in person but my mind was definitely elsewhere thinking about my Dad and my Aunt Mae  who died within 6 weeks of one another earlier this year.

I am just thankful that particularly in these last couple of months, I’ve had a great pilot to guide me…Jesus!jesus is my pilot

I’m reminded of a chorus we used to sing:

I have a pilot who guides me
Night and day;
Through cloud and sunshine I trust him,
Come what may.
Dangers may threaten but I never fear;
I’m full of confidence while he is near;
I have a pilot who guides me
Along life’s way.

I have certainly found those words reassuring in the last while, I hope you do too.

At the start of this year, I shared with you my aims for this year (Welcome to 2012) – not my new year resolutions, but what I aim to achieve this year. Then at the end of each month I’ve given you my monthly update on how I’m doing. So now it’s time for my May update:

  • Eat healthier
    • Not been the best of months between one thing and another…I was on holiday from work for just over a week and look Mum out for lunch, dinner or coffee every day…then I’ve been out for several meals with colleagues/friends from work due to some people taking on new roles or retiring.
  • Lose some weight
    • Not the best month as I have put back on a couple of pounds, mind you give all the eating out I’ve been doing, it’s not really any great surprise.
    • On the plus side, over the last month several people have commented that it was noticeable that I’ve lost weight, so that has to be a good sign!
    • because of the great warm weather we’ve had in the last week or so, I’ve been wearing my summer clothes again,and it was great to find they were no longer tight/too small for me, and were in fact, if anything, a little bit too big for me now!
  • Spend more time reading my bible
    • Been a slightly less successful month on this aim too this month.
  • Don’t let painrule my life
    • Still suffering a lot with pain these days, and sometimes it’s almost unbearable, but I’m still managing to force myself to keep going and not give into it, even though it maybe means my pain levels remain higher for longer
  • Get back to playing tennis as stopped playing in 2003 when I first wasn’t well
    • My target time for getting back to trying to play tennis again was Easter, and so for the last few weeks I’ve thought about going round to my tennis club if some of my friends were there…but none of them have been!
    • I know that just sounds like an excuse, but it is difficult to try and play tennis by yourself!
  • Put aside a minimum of 5 minutes each day to spend some quiet-time with God
    • Been another reasonably successful month with this, as I’ve made a point of trying to spend a minimum of 10 minutes “quiet-time” with God most days
  • Get back to playing the piano regularly as it’s been a while
    • Continuing not to make any progress with this one!
  • Go on holiday – we’ve not been away anywhere since 2002
    • Again, no progress on this one yet!
  • Keep on top of the housework (especially the ironing mountain!)
    • Been doing a bit more housework in the last couple of weeks, although there’s still loads of room for improvement, particularly in tackling the ironing mountain
  • More patience and understanding of others
    • I’ve said it before, but I must say it again, this is definitely one of my most challenging aims, as I definitely still need to be more patient!
    • More prayer for patience is still required!
  • Stop procrastinating
    • Continuing to do much better with this

So that’s my honest answers to how I’m getting on with my aims for 2012 – To summarise my progress to date…it’s continuing to go OK as, in general, I’m still heading in the right direction with most of my aims. However there are still some which I haven’t made any progress on to-date, so there’s still room for improvement in the coming months.

How about you, are you succeeding with your aims for 2012 so far?

Whatever your aims for this year, I pray you may be making progress in your aims for 2012, and that come the end of the year you will have achieved all God had planned for you this year!

I’m going to throw some words at you, and I want you to note down the first word that comes into your mind when you read each word.

Here goes…

1. Home

2. Letter

3. Work

4. Love

5. Child

6. Sport

7. Friend

8. Music

9. Shopping

10. Cross

11. Health

12. Book

So how did you get on with that, easy? difficult? surprising?

 

Here’s my answers to the above:

1. House

2. Bill

3. IT

4. Sandy

5. Small

6. Tennis

7. Trust

8. Christian

9. Mum

10. Jesus

11. Dad

12. Bible

Were any of your answers the same as mine? Did any of your answers surprise you? What about my answers, did any of them surprise you?

Personally I think our answers to these kind of questions, tell us a lot about what’s on our mind, and what’s important to us. So bearing that in mind, review your answers again, does my theory hold true?

I sometimes just pick some really random words and just try this myself just to see what my answers are – I know that sounds really sad, but I often find it quite illuminating to discover what is occupying my subconscious…try it out for yourself.

Yesterday was my Mum’s birthday and it was one that was full of different emotions for both Mum and me.

Firstly, I know Mum didn’t want her birthday as she has become more and more aware over the last while that both her and other members of our family are getting ever older, and with that often comes increasing health problems and health concerns.

Mum and Dad went into Glasgow with the intention of having a nice lunch out, but not only did my Dad not feel too good so didn’t want anything to eat, my Mum didn’t manage to get what she wanted for lunch and what she got was cold by the time she ate it! So as you can see Mum’s birthday plans didn’t go as expected.

Not only did Mum’s lunch plans not go as expected, but both my Dad and also my Mum’s sister, both forgot my Mum’s birthday. As some of you will know both my Dad and my aunt have dementia so to be honest it was no great surprise neither of them remembered Mum’s birthday. However, this being the first birthday both of them have forgotten, it must have been so very tough on Mum – I know it certainly made me feel quite low and very emotional.

On a positive note to finish, I think Mum loved the birthday presents we gave her – I think they gave her a wee boost knowing not everyone had forgotten her birthday.

I can’t imagine how Mum must have felt knowing some of those closest to her had forgotten her birthday, but I hope and pray, despite it all, that hubby and me can continue to bring a little bit of brightness and happiness into Mum’s life during what are difficult times.

Things have been very difficult for all my family (including me) over the last while for a variety of reasons, so I’d appreciate it if you’d keep us in your prayers – Thank you