When I say first “day” of work 2011, I’m using the word “day” very loosely as I was only at work for half a day!
I’ve spent the last few days stressing about going back to work today for the first time since before Christmas last year. I wasn’t stressing about going back to work because I didn’t think I was ready to go back, but because of my own fear of people fussing over me, or asking me how I am – Don’t get me wrong it’s not because I don’t think people care about me (as I do not think that is true), but just my usual irrational fear of falling apart in public. Irrational or what!
I try and put on a strong exterior when in public, which can be very hard at times as I’m often falling apart inside…but that’s just the way I’ve always done things and I can’t see me changing now. It’s not that I never fall apart, because that certainly isn’t true, but more that I prefer to be “in control” of where and when that happens.
Anyway back to today…after all my worries about how I’d cope today, I have to say that (as often is the case) all was fine, although I did have a few moments when I nearly fell apart when talking to one of my managers about all that’s been going on in the last few months…she has been having a tough time this year so was very supportive and understanding.
The morning went by quite quickly after having an update meeting/return to work meeting with my main manager (which in many ways made me feel like I’d never been off!), then a chat with my other manager, and of course trying to plough through my inbox of 997 emails! By the time I left at lunchtime I’d managed to get my email inbox down to 210, though some of my colleagues were threatening to fill my mailbox up for me this afternoon…I think they were joking! 🙂
So what’s next for me and work? Well it’s been agreed I’m just going to work morning’s this week and see how I get on, and then maybe try and do one full day and the rest half days next week, though we’ll agree that later this week, as I probably need a day off next week when hubby goes back into hospital for followup operation from last week.
When I got home this afternoon I was totally shattered so had an afternoon siesta – I’ve never been so glad to just be working half days!
So Day 1 of work 2011 completed successfully – well it was successful as far as I was concerned! Let’s see what Day 2 brings…
The Distinct Dot 