Earlier today on Bellshill Salvation Army Band’s Facebook page I shared the devotions I shared at one of our band practices before the summer break. I’d like to share those devotions with you tonight.
Have you ever been called a fraud, or ever felt like a fraud?
I often feel like a fraud in many aspects of my life as I set high expectations on myself and often fall short of them. That even applies when those ‘falling short’ things are outwith my control. An example of this was just a few weeks ago.
During a band practice a number of weeks ago we were told about a couple who were close to coming to faith, and were asked to pray for them. Then a few weeks later I was told that during a wonderful moment as a beautiful double rainbow appeared, the couple came to faith. When I was told this I realised how amazing this experience was for the couple, but also realised that at that moment I was feeling a completely contrasting emotion as I was feeling very overwhelmed, and I felt like a fraud!
As I explained to the person who gave me the update on the couple, I regularly get that feeling of being a fraud when I hear others tell of their conversion or how they came to faith or to use an example I was given by the person I was talking to: some see Jesus at the foot of their bed, or if they were alcoholics, they found God and gave up drinking – none of that was me.
That conversation I had, stuck in my head.
A few weeks l had this conversation, I was back at Rutherglen Salvation Army to celebrate the Songster centenary. While there standing on the platform as I’d done many times in the past, I found myself thinking back to how and when after several years not knowing what I should be doing with my life or what God wanted me to do, I made my decision to become a senior soldier. There was no ‘big moment’ for me compared to how others have found God, let me explain.
I was brought up in the army, a junior soldier and then when I became a teenage there was an expectation from many that I would just ‘go into senior uniform’ just like all the others that were about the same age as me did. But anyone that knows me, will know that I’ve never been one to conform or follow what others assume I’ll do – In fact I will often then consciously do something different!
To be honest I wasn’t sure where my life was going, or whether I wanted to continue in the army. I was therefore 18 before I made my decision to become a senior soldier and that only happened after a short conversation with someone who wanted me to take on a specific position in the corps – then everything fell into place for me as far my future was concerned. That night in our evening meeting when the songsters sang ‘You Know That We Love You’, I acknowledged that I loved God, and was now willing to accept and follow His plan for my life.
Lord, You know that we love You;
You know our thoughts and intentions,
Know the depth of devotion
Found in our lives today.
If our love has weakened, if our fervour has waned,
Turn us, Lord, by Your Spirit,
Let us love with love unfeigned.
Note: The night I shared these devotions at band practice we had practice ‘Fire In The Blood’ which features the melody of the song ‘You Know That We Love You’ – I don’t think that was a coincidence.
I realised that the position I was asked to take on was making use of my spiritual gifts, even though at the time I hadn’t realise this! So even though I didn’t have a ‘big moment’ of finding God, God found a way to help me find the path that He wanted me to take to use my spiritual gifts, at that time.
More recently when I’ve found myself unsure of what I should be doing, the opportunity to do the ‘spiritual gifts learning’ has arisen, and both times the outcome has confirmed that where and what I’m doing at that time fits perfectly with my spiritual gifts.
Spiritual gifts have been mentioned a few times in worship recently – with us being asked if we’re using our spiritual gifts to do what God want us to do – both Commissioner Jenine and Major Fiona referred to them in their messages.
I guess where I’m going with this is to firstly ask if you know what your spiritual gifts are just now, remembering they may change over time?
Secondly to assure you that it doesn’t matter how big or small a moment our ‘finding Jesus’ was, the important thing is that we did.
My final point is to remind you that God gives us spiritual gifts for a reason, so I’d encourage you to find out what your spiritual gifts are, and put them to use – you never know, you may be surprised and challenged by what you find are your spiritual gifts!
The Distinct Dot 