Posts Tagged ‘loneliness’

I don’t know about you, but when I’m not feeling so good, or feeling low, emotional or alone, I just want to hide from the world and everyone in it. The last thing I want to do is run to someone for help, I prefer to be on my own, and cope with whatever I face by myself.

I know I don’t ever need to face anything on my own, as God is always with me, and will always help me. But when it comes to interacting with the world and the people in it, sometimes I just don’t want to, especially when it feels like no-one even notices when I’m not around.

At those times, that’s when I do run to God, because He’s the only one who truly knows and understand me, and how I feel. He gives me peace and hides me under His wings.

Hide Myself by Michael W Smith

I’ve heard the thunder before
I’m not a stranger to storms
Even in the flood
I can always run
To where You are

I’ve had to wait in the dark
And hold the truth in my heart
Even in the night
Still You open wide
Your faithful arms

And I hide myself
Where I find my help
And I hide myself
I find only rest
Find only peace
Beneath Your wings

You are the refuge that stands
You hold my world in Your hands
The quiet in the noise
The stillness of Your voice
Will be enough

And I hide myself
Where I find my help
And I hide myself
I find only rest
I find only peace

And I hide myself
Where I find my help
And I hide myself
I find only rest
Find only peace
Beneath Your wings

And it’s Your presence alone
That changes all that I know
‘Til all that I know
Is just Your presence alone
I’m safe in Your shadow

And I hide myself
Where I find my help
And I hide myself
I find only rest
I find only peace

And I hide myself
Where I find my help
And I hide myself
I find only rest
Find only peace
Beneath Your wings

Even in the flood
I can always run
To where You are

Loneliness comes in all shapes and forms, it doesn’t care who you are or how weak or strong you are emotionally when the deep feeling of loneliness hits you.

For some loneliness comes because of certain life events, such as the loss of a partner or family member. That’s not the case for everyone though, as for some loneliness is something they live with on a daily basis, and not necessarily because they are actually alone – it may be they feel as is no-one truly understands them, or that they don’t fit in – all of which can cause deep feelings of loneliness.

If you’re lucky enough never to have experienced true loneliness, you will not know how difficult it can be to cope with. When loneliness takes over, we can build a protective wall around ourself, to try and stop those around us from seeing how we really feel.

Loneliness is real. Just because someone is always surrounded by lots of people, doesn’t mean they don’t experience loneliness. In fact I’d go as far as saying, one of the worst places to be when you suffer from loneliness is actually in a crowd.

So look out for those who exhibit signs of loneliness, because they need you – they need you just to reach out to them, and maybe give them a hug to reassure them you are always there for them.

What does Christmas Day look like for you?

Well over the years, like many my Christmas Day has changed dramatically. When I was young Santa came to our house twice on Christmas Day – one in the morning when it was just Mum, Dad and me, and then later after dinner with all the family (including gran, aunts, uncles, cousins and great aunts), when we’d all exchange Christmas gifts. We’d then spend the evening playing games, watching a bit tv, and eating!

The next big change was when my cousins got a bit older and had their own families, so while the first part of the day remained the same, it was then just Mum, Dad, gran, my Aunt Mae and my great aunts for dinner. My cousins and their families would then come later in the evening, so Santa waited to make his second appearance of the day until they arrived.

When I got married Christmas became a day of eating even more, as we’d spend the first half of the day with my husband’s Mum and the second half of the day with a few of my family – Mum, Dad and Aunt Mae. Santa came three times then – in the morning for my husband and me, at my mother-in-laws and then again at my Mum and Dad’s!

Then we come to now…these days Christmas is just me and my husband, so we have a quiet Christmas by ourselves.

My Christmases may not be the busy days I used to have with lots of family around, but at least I have someone to share my Christmas Day with.

Sadly there many who will spend Christmas Day as they do every other day, alone. Sadly there are many who will spend the day thinking of past Christmases with loved ones who have passed away or who have moved away.

Can I ask that you take a few minutes out of your busy Christmas Day to either phone or pop and see someone you know who may be lonely this Christmas, or feeling sad because those they love are no longer with them. They will be finding Christmas Day extra difficult, so you could just make someone’s Christmas if you take the time to speak to or visit someone.

christmas alone

During depression, the world disappears. Language itself. One has nothing to say. Nothing. No small talk, no anecdotes. One’s real state of mind is a source of shame. So one is necessarily silent about it, leaving nothing else for subject matter.

Kate Millett, The Loony Bin Trip

Everyone is different; Everyone has different hopes and dreams; Everyone reacts differently to every situation and feels different emotions.

Just as we are all different, so are the reasons people feel lonely.

Are you aware of anyone in your friendship group who seems quieter than usual, who’s maybe not socialising with the group as they used to do? Is it possible they may be feeling lonely?

Don’t think just because someone is always surrounded by other people that they can’t possibly feel lonely, because as I’ve said before, it is definitely possible to feel lonely in a crowd!

Make today the day you reach out and help someone who is suffering from feelings of loneliness.reach-out

 

Everyone is different; Everyone has different hopes and dreams; Everyone reacts differently to every situation and feels different emotions.

Just as we are all different, so are the reasons people feel lonely.

alone2When our circumstances change – e.g. move to a new area, start a family, divorce, bereavement, unemployment – some find it exciting and positive while others will find it painful, emotional and very lonely.

If your partner or job boosted your self-esteem and made your life meaningful is suddenly no longer there, everything, you may find life feels hopeless and futile.

While we can be in control of some of our circumstances, others are just part of life – it’s these circumstances that can contribute to feelings of loneliness. As I mentioned yesterday, identifying the real cause of your loneliness is the first step to you overcoming it, and that is true if the cause of your loneliness is your circumstances.

Good luck!

Just to expand on yesterday’s post Lonely #1, I want to give you another example of when people can feel particularly lonely.

doesn't care

When you are struggling and someone you care about doesn’t seem to notice or even care that you’re in need, can be heartbreaking and can make you feel particularly lonely.

So again today, remember to reach out to those in need, as you may just be the lift they need to get them through the day.

I came across this picture last week about loneliness, and I wanted to share it with you.

alone

I must be honest and say I can completely relate to this. I don’t know exactly what the above quote meant when it says “feeling that no one cares”, as it stops there. For me, I’d say “feeling that no one cares, even though I know they do”.

There have been times in my life when I have felt like no one cares. Even then I think deep down, I know I really am not alone because others do care – I just need to remind myself!

It can be difficult to feel others care when there’s no one around you, or no one notices when you’re struggling, or no one wants to talk to you, so let’s make a point of doing all we can to ensure we don’t let anyone we know ever feel alone.

What is Christmas Day like in your house?

I guess for those who have children Christmas Day probably means an extra early rise, as the children will be so excited to see what Santa has left for them. How about the rest of the day? Do you have a full household, or go and spend the day with others in your family…maybe you actually have Christmas twice as you spend some of the time with your family and the rest with your partner’s family.

I’m sure you’ve created an image in your head by now of what you think (and hope!) your Christmas Day will be like – Did it resemble any of those Christmas Day’s I’ve just described?

Sadly those images of Christmas Day couldn’t be further from how some will spend Christmas Day, as for many it can be a very difficult time as they will spend Christmas Day either by themselves, or will spend the day thinking of past Christmases spent with loved ones who have passed away or who have moved away.

Do you know anyone who may be on their own this Christmas or who will find Christmas Day particularly difficult because a loved ne has recently passed away? I know Christmas Day can be a very hectic day for many of us, however can I ask that you take a few minutes out of your busy Christmas Day to either phone or pop and see someone you know who may be lonely this Christmas and therefore finding it extra difficult. By doing this you really could quite literally make someone’s Christmas!

christmas alone

Have you ever felt so alone but hated yourself for feeling like that?

i hate feeling alone

I guess for those of us who are Christians, when we feel alone it can feel like we’re not putting our full trust in and faith in God, because we know God has promised to always be with us. However sometimes it can be that we simply feel like we need some company, or someone to talk to about what’s happening in our life.

I want to reassure you that it’s ok to want human company, and a friend to talk to. What we must ensure though is that the need for these human friendships doesn’t overtake our need for God because ultimately, God is the only one who can and will provide everything we need, including friendships and companionships.

So don’t hate yourself for feeling lonely, just trust God.

How many of us have ever felt like we have no one to turn to or nowhere to go? I suspect all of us at some point or another.

When we feel like this it’s not nice is it? Loneliness is a horrible feeling, and one which can really pull us down into a pit of despair if we don’t take control again.

But how do we get ourselves out of that pit of despair? Here’s the answer…

alone