Posts Tagged ‘Respite care’

It’s been just over a week I’ve been off work on annual leave, however, as usual when it’s almost time to go back to work, I wish I had another week off!

I gave you some idea of what I’ve been up to during my time off in Friday’s blog post entitled Normal Service Is Resumed. It’s been good not to be at work, however I must admit it’s not really felt like much of a rest as I’ve found it quite stressful spending everyday with mum!

Don’t get me wrong I love Mum and wouldn’t have wanted her to spend this last week on her own while Dad was in a care home for respite care. However due to all she’s having to cope caring for Dad, as well as us both dealing with my Dad’s and my Aunt’s guardianships, she offloads onto me as she is struggling to cope with it all. That’s fine with me as I’d rather she did that than try to cope on her own, however I’m finding it quite hard to cope too, as I too have a lot going on just now:

  • Concerned about Dad due to his dementia getting notably worse
  • Mum’s health because she’s still caring for Dad at home 24/7
  • Hubby’s health
  • Hubby’s job situation (early retirement/voluntary severance effective the end of this month)
  • My own on-going health worries – I’ve not really shared the extent of this with Mum as don’t want her to worry, as she’s enough to cope with!

I hope I don’t sound as though I’m complaining because I don’t intend too, I know life was never meant to be easy, so I’m simply just trying to give you an idea of some of the things I’m trying to cope with in my life at present, so you understand better the person writing this blog.

Mum asked me just yesterday if I had enjoyed my busy week off work and whether I was looking forward to going back to work for a rest! Maybe she’s more aware more than I think, about how I’m feeling and when I’m exhausted, struggling and in pain…

During my time off, when I’ve been struggling, I’ve found myself drawn again to the song Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns. Just like the words of this song say, I do wish that I was through this storm by now, however I thank God every day that I despite all I’ve been going through, I am still able to praise Him!

So it’s back to work tomorrow, and I’m pleased to say that today (Sunday), I finally got a day of doing absolutely nothing (typically I have a day of doing nothing when the weather is fantastic, but hey I needed it!)…and it was fabulous! Anyway I’m sure once I’m back at work tomorrow my week off will soon feel like was a distant memory by 10am!

I think it’s time to start planning another week or two off work!

If you’ve been following my Tweets in the last week, you’ll be aware that I’ve been on holiday from work since Thursday of last week. The main reason I took the time off was because last Thursday my Dad, who suffers from vascular dementia was going into a local care home for a week’s respite care, to give my Mum a break – My Mum still cares for Dad 24/7 at home, and has been finding it increasingly difficult to cope.

So last Thursday afternoon, Mum and I took Dad to the care home. When we got there, we were waiting for Dad’s assigned carer to come and get us and take us to Dad’s room to get him settled in, when Dad burst out crying…it was heartbreaking to see, and Mum got a bit upset, but it was simply because Dad didn’t know where he was (despite us telling him lots of times) or why he was there (again, despite us having told him a number of times).

So we got Dad settled into his room, and Joan, his assigned carer said she’d take Dad along to the day room and get him a cup of tea and a biscuit, so Mum decided we should just go then, rather than stay and confuse Dad. As we were getting ready to go, Mum told Dad we’d be back to take him home in a week so he just had to stay here for a few days. Dad’s response to this was, “Thank goodness for that, as I don’t want to stay here!”. Probably not the best thing Mum could have heard before we left Dad, but then we have to remember that in 2 minutes time Dad will have forgotten what we’ve told him anyway. Having said that it didn’t stop Mum getting a wee bit upset again as we left Dad – It must be hard after being married for well over 50 years and now seeing Dad like this…

Anyway, onto cheerier things…over the last week while Dad was in the care home, I spent some time with Mum every day, either going for a meal and/or going to various shopping centres for a wander round the shops, as well as doing our usual weekly supermarket shopping. The first couple of days Mum still seemed quite tense and stressed, although after that I think she began to relax and seemed to enjoy her “free-time“, even although every day she did still tell me she missed Dad.

Before we knew it, the week was over and so yesterday (Thursday) it was time to go back to the care home and collect Dad and bring him home. When I got over to Mum and Dad’s to pick Mum up to head down to the care home, Mum seemed quite stressed and was quite nippy with me several times, although maybe that was because she was worried about Dad as the care home had phoned her this morning to say Dad had a urine infection. Mind you they’s told her there was a prescription ready for Dad at our health centre, and instead of just leaving it there so we could pick it up when we were on our way to the care home to collect Dad, Mum got a bus down to the health centre this morning and collected the prescription and then got the medication at the chemist! I was a wee bit annoyed at her for that as she has a sore back/hip and so walking to/from the bus/health centre would not have done her back/hip much good…particularly when we could easily have collected it on our way past the health centre to the care home!

When we got to the care home, Dad was sitting in the day room with several other folk, with some music playing in the background. The worst thing about it was Dad didn’t know who Mum was! He seemed to know he knew her, but she had to explain who she was…that was sad. We brought Dad home, and all the way home in the car and when we got back to their house, he kept telling us he had no idea where he was, where he was going or why…that was sad.

When we got back to Mum and Dad’s house Mum opened the door and went in, Dad just stood on the doorstep – Mum told him to come in, and he said he’d come in in a minute. Mum told him to come in again, and Dad got annoyed and shouted,”Alright I’ll come in then!” – Argument number 1 already.

It funny in a sad way, as Mum and Dad very rarely ever argued when I was growing up, and when they did it was usually over something I had done (or not done!). However these days, Dad does get quite annoyed and a bit verbally aggressive towards Mum at times, but although we know it’s simply one of the side-effects of his dementia, it’s still upsetting for Mum.

So Dad’s back home with Mum again. I just hope that this last week when Dad’s had his week’s respite care, that I have been able to help Mum relax and recharge, so she is able to care for Dad at home again. It’s been a tough week for Mum not having Dad with her, but knowing she needed a break and that he’s getting well looked after. It’s also been a tough week for me, as I am finding it hard trying to stay positive and strong for Mum (as well as for hubby with his illness), I’m not complaining just wanting to point out to you all that when someone in your family suffers from dementia, it not only affects their carer(s), but their whole family.

Mum tells me she prays for patience a lot, and I can understand why, as I too pray for patience daily. Although we both need patience in different ways, I am sure God can, and will, answer our prayers for patience.

I’d ask that if you are a praying kind of person, you pray for my Mum and Dad, and that Mum will find the patience and strength to provide the care dad needs, without detriment to her own health. Thank you.

In Wednesday’s paper, the Herald, there was a very poignant article by Sally Magnusson entitled Magnusson’s torment at mother’s dementia battle. It really hit home for both Mum and me, and I’m sure many other’s who have family members or friends, who are suffering from dementia.

As you’ll know if you’ve been following my blog for a while, my Dad was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago, and over the last couple of years his condition has deteriorated very rapid. My Dad is still living at home with my Mum, with my Mum caring for him 24/7.

As Sally Magnusson says in her article in the Herald this week

Caring for my mother at home, even only part-time in my case with the help of my sisters and latterly a team of wonderful carers, has been psychologically gruelling and physically draining,” she said.

“How much worse for those who are caring alone and cannot afford extra help.”

when you’re caring for someone with dementia, it’s not something which just takes up a small part of your time, it is a 24/7 job, one which is not just physically exhausting, but also emotionally draining.

Please don’t think dementia is just about forgetting a few things, it’s not, it’s a horrendous disease which sucks out the person you know from their body and leaves an empty, helpless shell. It’s a disease which not only affects the person with the disease but also those who care for them, as there’s no remission for them from looking after the sufferer.

The person I know my Dad to be isn’t here anymore, yes, when I look at him I see my Dad, but that’s about the only part of him which is still recognisable as Dad:

  • He is no longer able to dress himself – Mum has to help him do that
  • He no longer knows or understands how to wash himself – Mum does that 6 days a week with a carer coming in to give Dad a bath once a week
  • He doesn’t recognise family members…including me which was very upsetting when it first happened. Although I’m now used to him not knowing me, it still is very upsetting
  • He doesn’t recognise or know people he’s known for years, such as neighbours and friends
  • When outside the house, he doesn’t know where he is
  • He sleeps most of the time

One of the saddest things watching Dad’s condition worsen, was when he went through a stage of bursting out crying for no apparent reason, other than just simply frustration at what was happening to him. I know how upsetting it was for Mum and me to see, but imagine how my Dad must have felt!

I do my best to support my Mum as she cares for Dad 24/7, however I never feel as though I’m able to do enough because I can see how difficult it is for Mum. On the plus side, Dad’s been into a local care hom,e a couple of time in the last 4/5 months for a week’s respite care, which has allowed Mum to get a bit of a break and a rest. In the last few weeks Mum’s talked about how she’s not sure how much longer she will be able to look after Dad at home.

It’s sad it’s come to this for Dad, but for the sake of my Mum, and her health, I was pleased when Mum told me she had asked her social worker to put Dad’s name down on the waiting list for the local care home. It’s upsetting to think of Dad not being at home, but ultimately he doesn’t really know where he is or who he’s with anymore, so as long as he’s comfortable and being looked after well, that is all I can ask.

If you are a praying person, can I ask you to pray for all those suffering from dementia and also for those caring for them. Thank you.

Last Saturday in Respite Care Request I spoke about how this week my Dad, who suffers from vascular dementia, was going into a local care home (David Walker Gardens) for a week’s respite care, to give my Mum, who cares for Dad at home, a rest.

I had taken Monday off so that I could help Mum get Dad ready to go to the care home, and then obviously take him there. I didn’t sleep terribly well on Sunday night as I kept thinking about how sad it was that Dad’s condition had deteriorated so much that he now relies completely on others to do just about everything for him now.

I was at the doctors early on Monday morning and when I got home, I got a phone call from Mum – she was getting a bit stressed as Dad was refusing to get out of bed and didn’t want to go to the care home. I tried to reassure Mum that as Dad was likely to forget within a few minutes, the conversation he’d just had with her, he’d probably get up in a wee while and be ok about going to the care home. I agreed to have my lunch and then head over to help get Dad ready.

When I got over to Mum and Dad’s, Dad was up and dressed, although Mum intercepted me at the front door to tell me Dad was still refusing to go to the care home. Mum had packed a small case for Dad, so I took that out to the car before Dad even knew I had got there. We managed to convince Dad to come out with us, by telling him we were going to see my Aunt – my Aunt lives at the same care home my Dad was going into for the week.

When we got to the care home, I think Dad had completely forgotten our earlier discussions, as he was fine when we went to his room, with his suitcase and then left him in the hands of the care worker. That was the tough bit, leaving Dad, and I know it was even harder for Mum.

As with the last time in November when Dad went into the same place for a week, Mum and I agreed we should not go and visit Dad during the week – in some ways this sounds harsh as I know Dad will be totally confused about where he is and why he;s there, however how is Mum going to get a break and relax if we keep going to visit Dad each day?

I was working on Tuesday and Wednesday, but after work both days I spent some time with Mum after I finished at work – going for coffee, shopping or dinner on both nights.

On Thursday Mum had one of her friends round for coffee and a blether in the morning, and in the afternoon Mum and me dealt with some of my Aunts business and then we headed to Silverburn shopping centre, for a wander round the shops and some dinner. Now here’s the surprise, between us we only bought one thing at the shops! – Mum bought herself a jumper. By the time I got home I was feeling really sore and very tired, so just spent the rest of the evening relaxing, despite all the housework needing done.

On Friday, Mum wasn’t feeling 100% so rather than go for a run in the car somewhere as we’d previously planned (which fitted in fine as both hubby and me weren’t feeling 100% either), we just went out for a sandwich for our lunch and then I picked up a few bits of shopping. Mum said she was quite happy to just spend the rest of the day herself relaxing.

Today, I was at the hairdressers in the morning, and when I was finished there, Mum and me headed out to the shops for a wee while. We’d planned to go through to Stirling with my hubby but he still wasn’t feeling too good.

The week’s been a mixture of ups and downs – between Dad going into the care home, some issues I had to get resolved at work, being in a lot of pain quite a few days this week, and feeling (and being) very emotional quite a lot, which if you know me at all will know I find it very difficult letting others see my emotions, so it’s been a all round tough week.

Part of me is glad this week is over, but part of me wishes it wouldn’t end, as although I hate the thought of Dad being in a care home, I know it’s what is needed to give Mum a well-earned rest from caring for Dad at home 24/7. Personally I don;t think Mum’s going to be able to care for Dad at home all that much longer as she’s finding it more and more difficult as Dad’s condition deteriorates, and his needs become more demanding on her.

We go to collect Dad from the care home and take him home on Monday, so I’d appreciate your prayers for Mum and Dad on Monday, as it’s likely to be difficult, as Dad will be very confused about what’s going on and where he is. The social worker assigned to my Mum and Dad is due to visit my Mum again in the next week or two to “discuss the future”, so I’d ask that you pray for Mum, Dad and the social worker,that the right decisions might be made for both Mum and Dad so that they can both live a comfortable life – I know there’s going to come a time soon when Dad needs to go into a care home full-time. When that time comes, it’s going to be tough, but ultimately I know looking after Dad 24/7 is definitely having a detrimental impact on Mum’s quality of life and her health.

Thank you all for your continued support during these difficult times for my family.

We all have family, some we’ve met other’s we don’t even know about. However as a follower of God, we are part of an even bigger family…God’s family!

Are you part of God’s family?

In my blog post yesterday Respite Prayer Request, I asked those who pray, pray for my Mum and Dad this coming week as my Dad goes for a week’s respite care, and as always, I was amazed by the response I got from you all – lots of you contacted me and told me you would pray for my family just as I’d asked. But what always amazes me even more, is that many of you who have never met me or my family, yet when asked to pray for us, you readily agree.

…that’s the power of being part of God’s family, and knowing the power of God’s love.

Matthew 5:9 (The Message)

You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

 

Thank you all for your support in prayer.

 

Do you believe in God? Do you believe in the power of prayer?

If you answered yes to those questions, I’d like to ask for you support in prayer in this coming week…

My Dad suffers from vascular dementia and over the last year or two his condition has deteriorated very quickly. So much so that he is barely able to di anything for himself now. He is still living at home (at present), where my Mum cares for him 24/7.

Mum has been finding it more and more difficult to cope with Dad over the last little while and has been talking about it maybe going to be time for Dad to go into care permanently, soon.

In November last year Dad went for a weeks respite care to the same care home my aunt (my Mum’s sister) lives in full-time. Although my Dad remembered nothing of his time there, the break did do my Mum the world of good, especially as the staff at the care home were able to reassure Mum that Dad had settled in ok.

Within a few weeks of Dad’s week in respite care, the social worker had got Mum to agree to putting Dad’s name down again for another week’s respite…there’s about an 8 week waiting list!

That’s the background to my prayer request today. So here’s why I’m asking for your prayers…on Monday, Dad is going back to the same care home for another week’s respite care so Mum can get a well earned break again.

Although Mum needs the break and is looking forward to having time for her rather than caring for Dad 24/7, I know she will really miss him, and she’s not the only one, as I’ll miss him too. The social worker who is dealing with Dad told us it was better not to visit Dad while he was in the care home, just so Mum could get a complete break – Mum did of course phone then nearly every day to check that Dad was ok.

Personally, I never ever wanted Mum or Dad to have to go into a care home, however I know how much Mum is struggling to cope with looking after Dad these days, so in that sense I’m glad Dad is going for respite care on Monday. That said, even although we’ve done this before, it’s still going to be a tough day taking Dad to the care home and leaving him there for a whole week.

While Dad in respite care next week, Mum will get a good chance to relax plus do exactly what she wants to do with no time constraints. I’ve taken a few days off too, so will spend those days with Mum and maybe go for a run in the car somewhere different, just for a change.

In closing, I would therefore like to ask you to pray for Mum and Dad next week as Dad goes in for a week’s respite care – I know Mum would appreciate it too if you would pray for them.

Thank you, and God bless.  .x

We’re in His Hands,
We’re in His hands,
Whatever the future holds,
We’re in His hands.

So we’re just about at the end of another year. So how’s 2011 been for you? For me 2011 has been one which I probably would rather forget. So how would I sum up my year…

A Rotten Start To 2011

2011 started well, as hubby and me did our usual New Year’s Day thing and took in a Chinese to Mum and Dad’s for dinner. We spend a while at Mum and Dad’s before coming home to relax for the rest of the evening. I changed into my pjs when we got home and was stretched out on the sofa watching the TV, when I suddenly felt really unwell…

That was the start of my rotten start to 2011, as I ended up off my work for two and a half months during which time I got sent for various tests etc to try to establish the cause of my illness.

One Thing After Another

Just a few days before I was due to go back to work after being off at the start of the year, my hubby took unwell and ended up in hospital with kidney stones, and then had to have an operation. So as I say just as I was feeling a bit better (though not 100%), hubby ended up ill.

What a rotten year 2011 was turning out to be!

It improved a bit for a while until the end of September when hubby fell ill again, this time with some kind of viral infection. Unfortunately the virus seemed to hit him really badly so much so that he ended up off work from then until just a couple of weeks before Christmas.

This year hasn’t been one of my hubby’s best ones as far as health is concerned.

No Answers Yet

Just like the last few years, this has been yet another one where I’ve had more and more tests at various hospitals, but we’ve still no answers to my ongoing health concerns. Maybe 2012 will be the year!

Feeling the Effects of Living With Dementia

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, while know that my Dad has vascular dementia, and has been getting progressively worse over the last year or so.

Dad’s now got to the stages where he doesn’t know who anyone is, including me – and that’s heartbreaking. Apparently there’s even been a couple of times when he’s asked Mum who she was, that must have been really really tough on Mum.

Mum’s finding it more and more difficult to look after Dad at home, as it’s a 24/7 job, and without meaning to be unkind, Mum’s not as young as she used to be! Fortunately Mum has accepted some help from social work so someone come in to help with Dad a few days each week and he also goes to a day centre on another day. At least when Dad’s at the day centre, Mum gets a chance to chill and do some things she wants to do without having to worry about leaving Dad for too long.

The best thing that happened this year was Dad going into a local care home for one week’s respite care, at the start of November. I took the week off work so I could spend it will Mum so she didn’t feel too alone without Dad at home. We had a good time, going round the shops, lunching and visiting a few places we’d not been for a while. Personally I don;t think this week could have come soon enough for Mum as she really was needing a break from caring for Dad.

So the week’s respite care did Mum the world of good, and it certainly didn’t do Dad any harm either…not that he remembers anything about that week or even that he was away from home for a few days!

Not Limited to Humans!

Health concerns within my family have not been limited to the human members of my family, as our cat, who is now 16 years old, wasn’t very well at one point this year. For a few weeks we were going back and forward to the vets with him for more tests and more tablets to try and get him well again. Thankfully though, he got over his illness almost as quickly at it had originally appeared…mind you our bank account is still recovering!

Sudden Passing

Unfortunately this year also marked the sudden passing of a good friend. Rest in peace my friend.

My thought and prayers have continued to be focused on her family, particularly during this festive season.

Even right to the end of this year, it’s not been a great year – just today we heard the sad news that the wife of one of my husband’s cousins had passed away.

What Made My Year

So this year has obviously felt like there have been more lowlights than highlights, however as I take more time to consider events of this year I realise that though I may not have initially considered it a highlight, I now realise that I could not have got through this year without the support of my family and friends.

I’m not going to mention specific people as I’ll only miss someone out! So suffice to say that some of the folk who have most supportive to me this year have come from unlikely sources, at work and also through Twitter and Facebook – you know who you are. I have to make particular mention of my Twitter and Facebook friends who I’ve never even met in person, but who have supported me through some tough days.

I simply want to say to each of you, thank you for all the love, support and prayers you’ve given me and my family throughout this year – it has been greatly appreciate by both me and Mum.

So there’s my year, how’s your year been? I hope whatever you have faced this year you have had some highlights which you can cherish as memories for a long time.

…and finally

Just to finish off what has been a pretty rotten year for me, can I remind you not to ever underestimate how many blessings you receive and give out over  the period of a year.

Many may seem very small and insignificant, however they may well have had a massive impact on the recipient – they may have meant the world to them!

Well that’s us at Sunday night again, so where has this last week gone?!

This time last week, Dad wasn’t too well, and we were looking forward with trepidation and relief that come the Monday, Dad was going into a care home for a week’s respite are so Mum could get a well-earned rest.

This must have been one of the quickest weeks ever (I know Mum would agree!). I’ve taken Mum out somewhere every day bar yesterday when she went to my cousin’s for dinner – We’ve been out for lunch, dinner, shopping, wandering round the shops, as well as cleaning out my aunt’s house, so I’ve kept her busy! Normally when Dad’s at home Mum doesn’t really get much time away from him at all, as she doesn’t like to leave Dad alone for very long these days so I think it’s been good for her to get a chance to spend some time for herself…even if most of it has been with me!

I think Mum’s enjoyed her week, even if she’s maybe not had a chance to do some of the things in her house she’d intended doing…but then a week’s respite shouldn’t be spent doing housework should it!

Anyway, it may have been a quick week in some ways, however in others it’s been a very tough week, wondering how Dad is and how he’s getting on – I know Mum has phoned the care home several time to see how he is and been told he’s ok, confused and a bit emotional but doing alright. I can’t imagine just how tough this has been for Mum being apart from Dad, after all they’ve been married for over 50 years!

So tomorrow we go back to the care home and pick Dad up and bring him home again. I wonder whether he’ll understand what’s happening and that he’s going home…will he even know who we are? Time will tell!

I’ve been writing about what’s been happening with Dad because vascular dementia is such a rotten illness, and is indiscriminate about who it affects, so I just want to let you know a little of the challenges and daily stresses that face both the sufferer and their carers, and how draining physically and emotionally that can be for the carer.

Finally, I’d just like to say on behalf of both Mum and I a huge thank you to all who have prayed for Mum and Dad this week, and those who have phoned or visited Mum to see how she was getting on – Mum really has been appreciated it, and I’ve been thankful that so many of you have offered support to Mum too during this difficult time.

Thank you.  .x

What a day! It’s been a day full of lots of different emotions. It’s been a day Mum has been looking forward to ever since she agreed that she wanted Dad to go into a care home for a week’s respite care. It’s been a day that’s been a long time coming, and one which I personally think Mum could have been doing with arriving much much sooner.

The day didn’t start great for me for various reasons, including not sleeping well last night and then hubby going back to doctor’s this morning to be told he’s still not well enough to go back to work (this was no great surprise to me, but I think hubby was expecting a different outcome). That’s now quite a number of week’s hubby’s been off work and to me he’s still not much better than he was when he was first off…this is gonna be a tough day…

Early afternoon and it’s time to head over to Mum and Dad’s to take Dad to the care home where he will stay for the next week to give my Mum a break from caring for him.

When I get over there, Mum tells me she’s explained to Dad countless times where he’s going and why, although he really hasn’t understood. Although at one point he did apparently say he didn’t want to go, and wished the week was over so he could come back home again…hearbreaking.

In the car on the way to the care home, Mum and me were explaining to Dad again where we were going and why, but he just kept saying he hadn’t a clue where he was or what was going on. Then he suddenly burst into tears…heartbreaking.

Mum was struggling, I could see that, but what could I say or do other than try and reassure her that Dad would be ok and that the folks at the care home would take good care of him. After all the care home Dad is going into is the same one my Aunt Mae lives in these days, so we know it’s nice, we know the staff are great and they know us well too because we’ve been visiting Aunt Mae regularly ever since she first went into the care home.

The staff at the care home were as usual marvellous and kept reassuring Mum that Dad would be ok, and that she should take full advantage of her week’s break from caring for Dad.

While we were at the care home we all went to visit Aunt Mae. She didn’t seem too happy today, so that was upsetting, again particularly for Mum as she was already finding today tough. So after visiting Aunt Mae, we took Dad back down to where he is going to be staying for the week, again explaining to him what was going on, but again he was unable to understand. Then came the toughest time…the time to leave Dad…

It was dinner time for the folks in the care home, so we took Dad to the dining room, and got one of the carers to take him to a seat…he didn’t understand why Mum wasn’t going to sit down with him in “the restaurant”…heartbreaking.

Mum wasn’t too bad, she found it tough leaving Dad, however I had expected her to get all upset but she coped better than I had expected.

Spent some time with Mum after we left the care home, and she seemed to be looking forward to her “week of freedom”, though she did keep saying “I wonder how Dad’s getting on”. Despite Mum telling me today not to worry about her and that I didn’t need to spend my whole week off with her, I intend to spend at least some time with her every day this week, just to reassure me if nothing else, that she’s ok.

Today’s been a tough old day, an emotional day – a day I’m happy for Mum’s sake has arrived, but on the other hand, I’m sad for Dad that it’s come to this, him having to go into a care home.

So many emotions for us all. It’s been a tough day all round.

Today I would simply like to ask you, if you are a praying kind of person, to pray for my Mum and Dad, particularly tomorrow and during the week ahead.

Why?

As I’ve mentioned before my Dad has vascular dementia and over the couple of years as very rapidly declined, so much so that he now has to be cared for 24/7. My Mum has always said she’d look after Dad at home for as long as possible, and to date that’s exactly what she has been doing.

However over the last few months, my Mum’s struggled more and more to care for my Dad and despite originally being adamant that she didn’t want Dad to go in anyways, even for a few days, she finally agreed to this in August.

Mum having agreed to respite care for Dad I thought and hoped something would be sorted quickly, however social work were unable to offer a place for Dad until w/b 31st October, i.e. tomorrow.

Personally, I never ever wanted Mum or Dad to have to go into a care home, however I know how much Mum is struggling to cope with looking after Dad these days, so in that sense I’m glad Dad is going for respite care tomorrow. That said, tomorrow is going to be a tough day taking Dad to the care home and leaving him there for a whole week.

What’s going to make tomorrow even tougher is that Dad hasn’t been too well the last couple of days, so we’ve been spending a lot of time just sitting with him, so the thought of leaving him…

Also in the last few months, Dad’s been prone to bursting into tears for no apparent reason, and that’s heartwrenching…and I suspect we will probably experience this tomorrow when we take him to the care home, as he’ll not understand where he is or what’s going on…I’m really not looking forward to it at all.

On the plus side, Mum will get a chance to do what she wants, when she wants for a whole week! I’ve taken the week off work so I can spend the time with Mum so she’s not on her own. I know Mum’s looking forward to some time of her own however I know she’ll miss Dad, despite how much work he gives her these days.

I would therefore appreciate it if you could pray for Mum and Dad this week – I know Mum would appreciate your prayers too.

Thank you and God bless.  .x

We’re in His Hands,
We’re in His hands,
Whatever the future holds,
We’re in His hands.