…sadly, this is often how it can feel when you have no children and all those you spend time with, have kids.
Before I go any further with this blog post I just want to clarify a couple of things following my blog post Childless = Alone from Friday night:
- I really do love children, I’m just sorry we’ve not gt any of our own.
- I do not dislike others talking about their kids, however if all you want to talk about in my presence is your kids and how much you want another child, and that you can’t wait to have another child, please don’t be surprised if I’m just a tad upset!
I don’t know about you but have you noticed how many leisure activities/events are geared towards families? I have!
I’ve found that no matter where we go or what we’re involved in, many of the events or activities that are organised, are focused on families and/or the children in particular. Again I must stress that children are important and we must ensure we do all we can to make them feel wanted and part of the group, however what are those of us without kids supposed to do, or feel?
If we turn up to family events, there’s little for us, as much is aimed around the children or the parents and their children. If we don’t turn up at all, no-one notices…and then we feel excluded.
Can I tell you the one place when I find I feel excluded most, because we have no children? Sadly I have to tell you that it’s at my church. What makes it even more difficult for me at my church is that I’m the only person in my family who attends that particular church, and therefore whenever there are family events on I really am excluded as I have no family there.
The worst occasions for me are always the meetings when we are told it’s a family service so instead of sitting in our usual place in the band/songsters/congregation, we’re asked to sit with our family – These are the times when I seriously wonder if anyone considers how those of us with no family there, feel. I can honestly say I always avoid attending these meetings, and as far as I’m aware no-one has ever noticed – at least I’ve never been asked why I wasn’t there.
I know no-one will even intentionally have meant to make anyone feel excluded or uncomfortable, because I can assure you it is hard on those of us with no children, and doubly hard on those of us who have no other family at the event.
Please remember we are all God‘s children, and as such we must love everyone equally. Don’t discriminate, either on purpose or by accident, against those of us who have no children or have no other family members around them, as we can feel alone and excluded during family events.
I hope you enjoy this video of Child of God by Kathryn Scott:
The Distinct Dot 