Whom have I?

Do you attend church regularly?

If so, do you go with family or close friends?

Take a few minutes to consider how you would feel if you had no family or close friends there with you..

Would it make a difference to your worship experience? Would it stop you getting involved in or attending events because you were on your own? Would anyone even notice if you weren’t there for one week…two weeks…or even longer?

I would love to be able to say that it not having any family or close friends to share in worship doesn’t matter; I would love to say that not having family or close friends to attend events with doesn’t matter; I would love to say that when missing for one event/worship meeting, other contact you to check you are ok…can you tell there is a “but” coming in this sentence? Sadly for many, each of these things can be the difference between going to a specific church and not going to church at all.

I personally find that quite sad, as going to church is not about individual people, families or friendships, it’s about God, and our relationship with Him!

I do however completely understand and accept that having family and close friends worshiping with you, can add to your experience. However I do know that when you have no family or close friends at your place of worship, it can be difficult at times to attend events on your own. I also agree that when you’re a regular attender at church and you miss a week but no-one contacts you to check if you are ok, it can make you wonder if anyone even noticed you weren’t there, and so can make you feel so alone; you may even wonder whether if you never went back, whether anyone would even notice.

However, maybe we just need to remember who is always there for us, so we are never alone…

Here is the International Staff Songsters of the Salvation Army singing the beautiful song Whom Have I.



  1. Have you written this from your own experiences because it sounds like it? I to go to a church that none of my family attend and although I have friends there I wouldn’t consider them to be close friends, so I know how it feels to be alone at church.

    I love my church but like so many things its very family oriented and that is hard when your own your own, so how do you deal with it? I don’t go when there are family services and just like you said I find no-one seems to miss me but I know others who get phonecalls or messages from others when they don’t go, and that makes me feel even more alone, just as it sounds from your writing, that you do to.

    Be strong my friend God knows and understands how we feel. He must have a reason for making us feel like this I just wish he’d let us know why soon


    1. Thank you Tess. Some of what I wrote is from my own experiences, however I hadn’t intended it to be so obvious! lol
      Yes it can be hard when everyone else has family and/or close friends there to support them and to talk to, and you have no one, but as you said, that’s why our faith in God must be strong, otherwise would be keep going to church? Would we keep putting ourselves through the stress of wondering who we’ll sit with, or who we’ll talk to before or after the service? Gos is who we need, and He is in fact all we need, so hold onto that


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