Circle of trust


Have you seen the film “Meet the Parents“?

The film focuses on Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) and his Pam Byrnes (his girlfriend) as they go to her parents house, where he plans to propose. However meeting her parents doesn’t go quite as smoothly as Stiller had hoped as her ex-FBI father (played by Robert De Niro) takes an instant dislike to Stiller.

This dislike of Stiller, causes De Niro to exclude him from what he calls his “circle of trust”, which basically includes all his close family and friends, and they alone are the ones who get included in special events, and hear about information that’s not commonly available about those in the “circle of trust”.


The film Meet the Parents, focuses on an amusing attempt to gain the trust of a soon to be family member, but sadly in real life, being outside the “circle of trust” of those you considerate to be friends, can be far from amusing for those on the outside. In fact it will make the “outsider” feel even more of an outsider, making them feel unwanted and alone.

Maybe inadvertently, maybe intentionally, when individuals are singled out for exclusion from events/discussions it can cause them great pain and upset. Many can find it difficult to interact/mix with others, particularly if they are on their own, so being excluded exacerbates their feelings of failure and inability to socialise with others, which in turn makes it more difficult to mix with others…and so one thing exacerbates the other leaving them further from being part of that inner circle, that “circle of trust”.

Who’s in your “circle of trust”? Are you inadvertently excluding one or more people from your “circle of trust”? Have you considered what impact that is having on them?

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