Following on from yesterday’s blog post, I like to tell you about some other qualities you will find in a good listener:
- They carefully listen to the words used by the speaker, to get a better understanding of how the speaker is feeling. e.g. anger, hurt, despair, delight.
- They understand that everyone has different communication styles, and adjust their listening style to correspond to the speaker’s communication style. e.g. If the speaker is shy, they will try to draw the person out; but if they are talkative, they will interject more.
- They love people., and making a connection with them. They understand that there is simply no substitute for genuine affection for other people.
- They do not unreasonably question the motives of the speaker and assume the speaker is trying to communicate clearly and truthfully.
- They understand that sometimes they have to tell the speaker that they cannot listen to them as what they are saying or talking about is wicked or dangerous or goes against their beliefs. i.e. They use their common sense.
- They don’t equate listening with silence, so will contribute to the conversation in order to further it.
- They will work hard to understand what the speaker is trying to tell them both through their words and their nonverbal communication.
- They actually value the contributions of other people and don’t want to be the one talking all the time.
- They understand their own listening qualities and limits.
- They understand that there is a reason or meaning behind every communication and therefore know that different situations call for different kinds of listening.
Now you’ve read yesterday’s and today’s list of qualities, do you recognise yourself or other’s around you?
”Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19).