Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

I had a strange experience earlier, which when i tell you about it, you’ll either think I’m mad (or maybe confirm to you that I’m mad!) or you’ll think it was a lovely thing to experience. So where do I start to explain this…

As you may know my Mum passed away last year and a few months later we moved to my Mum’s house. I’ve struggled a lot since my Mum passed away particularly since she passed away just over 2 years after my Dad. As part of moving to my Mum and Dad’s house we had the task of going through things in the house and sorting out some of the things we definitely want to keep as well as deciding on and some we don’t. Some of the things of Mum’s that we have kept were some of the towels as some were almost new and had hardly been used.

This morning when I got up I had my usual shower and afterwards I pulled my towel round me and as I did so I realised the fresh towels I’d put out last night were some of my Mum’s. As arms of loveI stood there with the towel wrapped round me I had the feeling of my Mum holding me tight in her arms…I crumbled…the tears streamed down my face, I was unable to move.

Many of you will think this was all just part of my imagination, but for me, I believe even although my Mum and Dad are no longer here with me, they are still watching over me, and Mum knew I needed a hug today, just as she’s known every other day.

Mum and Dad I love you and I miss you both so very much. I just want others to know and see the huge inspiration you were to me and how much you influence and me and moulded me into the person I am today. I just hope I make you proud.

I recently met someone at the local shops who I recognised as someone I thought my Mum and Dad knew, but wasn’t sure exactly who they were, and they seemed to know me too. We said hello to one another, and I then told them who I was, there was still that blank expression on their face indicating they were none the wiser who I was.

At this point I told them who my parents were and that got the response I hoped for, they realised who I was! After they told me who they were as well, we were able to share a few memories/stories of Mum and Dad with one another before, we parted agreeing to keep in touch.

So where am I going with this…well it’s about people knowing who we are because they know our parents – Because this person I met at the shops realised they knew me once they knew who my Mum and Dad were, they had expectations of who and what I am based on their knowledge of my parents…I hope I didn’t let my Mum and Dad down!

We all have people here on earth who we call family, but ultimately we are all children of God. How willing are you to tell others that you are a child of God?

It’s been a very sad day today as we said a final farewell to my Mum

Margaret Jackson Watson Johnson (nee Gilchrist)

27/09/1931 – 06/09/2015

Mum 70th

I had hoped to write a tribute to my Mum today, but I’m afraid it’s just too soon for me to be able to write anything that would do my Mum justice, so I’ll save my thoughts for another day once we get back to some kind of normality (whatever that means!).

So today, I simply want to express my gratitude to everyone who has offered support and love to us during these very difficult days by phoning, visiting in person or by sending us cards or flowers. You will never know just how much your support has meant to us.

To those of you who have helped us get everything sorted out for the funeral today and helped with the funeral itself, a huge thank you.

To the many of you who shared with us today at Rutherglen Salvation Army and then at the cemetery before returning to Rutherglen Salvation Army for refreshments, thank you for taking the time to support us on this most difficult of days, we really did appreciate it.

Mum never liked making a fuss about anything, so I’m sure she would have been embarrassed by the number of people who came to say farewell to her today, as well as by all that was said about her. However, to me it simply shows how well-respected my Mum was and the huge impact and influence she had on many, none more so than on me!

Mum’s family have been a part of Rutherglen Salvation Army since the Salvation Army first started in Rutherglen, and Mum has been a soldier there for many years, so it was fitting we celebrated her life there before we laid her in her final resting place. Mum loved Salvation Army music abd she loved a “good old army march“, but as a member of the songsters (adult singing group) for many years she also loved singing. One of her favourite songs was Jesus Thou Art Everything To Me as it was also her testimony. So for you today Mum, here’s your testimony in song:

Mum you’re now at rest, and I believe you have been reunited with Dad. I miss you and Dad so much, and I will love and remember you both forever.

Rest in peace Mum xxx

Mum 1952

Aunt Mae (Aug 2011)Today, the 23rd October, is another sad day for us, as today would have been my Aunt Mae’s 91st birthday.

It’s now just over 6 months since my Aunt Mae passed away, but just typing these words have started my tears flowing again. In many ways it seems like just yesterday Aunt Mae passed away, just 6 weeks after my Dad died. However in many other ways it seems like an eternity since both Aunt Mae and Dad were here with us.

I have thought of my Aunt Mae every day since she died.

I have shed many tears every day since Aunt Mae died.

I have missed my Aunt Mae every day since she died.

As Aunt Mae’s dementia worsened, she, just like my Dad, failed to recognised us or acknowledge that she knew us and latterly her personality completely changed, as she went from being a loving caring person to someone who was angry and aggressive…that just wasn’t my Aunt Mae. Having said that, during her final few days in the hospital, she did seem to have a the odd moment of clarity, as at one point when Mum apparently told her I was on my way in to see her she smiled and tried to say my name…

I am in no way saying there was no bond between Aunt Mae and the rest of my family, but I know there was always a special place in her heart for me, after all I was named after her as Mum and Dad gave me her name as my middle name, Mary.

These have been incredibly difficult months for my family, and my Mum in particular – Mum’s struggled to come to terms with the death of first my Dad and then Aunt Mae, but she’s getting there, as am I. I would however ask that today, as we remember my Aunt Mae in particular, on what would have been her birthday, that you continue to pray for us as we continue to grieve the death of two much-loved members of our family, my Aunt Mae and my Dad.

I love you Aunt Mae, and I miss you so much. You’ll always be in my thoughts and firmly in my heart. Dorothy xxx

Today is my Mum’s birthday (and no I’m going to tell you what age she is today!), and is it’s also another day when I’m sure we’ve both thought a lot about my Dad as it’s Mum’s first birthday since my Dad and my Aunt Mae passed away.

I had hoped to take this week off work so I could spend more time with Mum in the run up to her birthday, but that ended up not being possible. I have however spent some time with Mum several night’s this week so that hopefully she hasn’t all her time thinking about Dad and Aunt Mae not being with us any more.

We have arranged to take Mum out for dinner tonight to celebrate her birthday so hopefully she’ll enjoy that and, although we’ll probably end up talking about my Dad and my Aunt Mae tonight as we often do, but hopefully it’ll be because we’re remembering the good times we spent with them rather than focusing on the fact that they both ended up with dementia/Alzheimer’s and ultimate both died because of that awful illness.

So happy birthday Mum. I hope that despite it being a another day when we’ll think of those who are no longer with us, we’ve managed to make it a good day for you.

happy birthday mum

As some of you will know, a few days ago it was my birthday. Birthdays are normally a time of great celebration, even if we’re not very happy bout the age we are now celebrating. However this birthday for me was tinged with sadness, as it was the first birthday I’d celebrated without my Dad.

Dad in hospitalYes, my last birthday with Dad was spent visiting him in hospital, and while I remember he never spoke to us at all during our visit that day (in fact he hid under the covers the whole time), it was still special to me as our family was all together on my birthday.

Yes, hubby keeps trying to remind me that even last year at my birthday, it wasn’t really my Dad anymore, and therefore rather than have him here as a shell of himself unable to recognise or communicate with us anymore, it really is better for him that he passed away peacefully earlier this year. That of course is reasonably easy to say (or type in this case!), but so difficult to truly accept, as I really miss my Dad.

These last few days I’ve shed a whole load of tears for Dad as I miss him so much, not the person he was latterly in these last few years, but the person who brought me up, taught me and inspired me. I know I should be thankful for him that his suffering is over but, I’m only human, and therefore I continue to miss my Dad.

Dad at our weddingIt’s been a tough day for me today as it’s Father’s Day today – if you’ve been following my blog for a few months you’ll know that my Dad passed away earlier this year.

It’s not been a tough day because it’s the first Father’s Day I’ve not had to buy a card and present for my Dad, as I never did that…not because I didn’t love Dad, but because he believed Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day etc were all just about companies making money from all the commercialisation that comes with all those events. I have to say, I do agree with Dad on that, as after all, we always agreed that our love for one another should be shown each and every day not just expressed by a the amount of money/effort put into a present once a year on a day defined by others.

These last few weeks, I’ve been finding myself thinking more and more of Dad (not that I’ve ever stopped thinking of him) and getting very emotional. People keep telling me it’ll get easier with time, but at the moment I feel it’s actually getting harder!

Anyway, for all you other folk out there who have had to get through today, Father’s Day, I hope you have managed to get through what will have been a tough day for you. For those of you who still have you dad with you, cherish them, tell them you love because otherwise, when they are no longer here with you anymore, you’ll wish you’d told them more often how much they meant to you…I know I do!

Today, the 25th April is another sad day for us, as today would have been my Dad’s 86th birthday.

Dad at our weddingIt’s now just over 2 months since my Dad passed away, but just typing these words have started my tears flowing again. It really doesn’t seem like 2 months since Dad died, mind you a lot of that has to do with the fact in that interim time as many of you know, my Mum’s older sister, my Aunt Mae, also passed away. My Aunt Mae’s funeral was just over 2 weeks ago, so I’ve found that since then, I’ve finally been able to grieve for my Dad, as up until then I never really got a chance to grieve because my Aunt Mae was so ill.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not mean I am not grieving for my Aunt Mae as well as my Dad, as I most definitely am, but as you can probably understand, I am really missing my Dad.

I have thought of my Dad every day since he died.

I have shed many tears every day since Dad died.

I have missed my Dad every day since he died.

Yes, Dad’s illness in his final few years meant he was never really the Dad I knew and loved during, but even in those days when his vascular dementia meant he rarely knew us, or had any kind of conversation with us, there was still the odd time when he’d look at me and say, “Hello my lovely young lady” – something he often called me for many years. The days he said that to me became fewer and further apart, but when he did day them, they always brought tears to my eyes…and they most certainly have again tonight as I typed this post. The sad thing is no sooner would he uttered those words than he would become that vacant vessel again which didn’t understand what was going on around him, who was with him or indeed understand that he knew us.

These have been incredibly difficult months for my family, and my Mum in particular – Mum’s struggling to come to terms with the death of my Dad and Aunt Mae over these last couple of months. Therefore I’d ask today, as we remember my Dad on what would have been his birthday, that you continue to pray for us as we continue to grieve the death of two much-loved members of our family.

I love you Dad, and I miss you so much. You’ll always be in my thoughts and firmly in my heart. Dorothy xxx

It’s been another sad day today, as just 5 weeks after saying our final farewells to my Dad, we said a final farewell to my Aunt Mae, Mary Waddell Gilchrist (23/10/1922 – 03/04/2013).

Aunt Mae (Aug 2011)

My intention again today, just at it had been on the day of my Dad’s funeral (see the blog post Farewell), was to write a tribute to my Aunt Mae, but I’m afraid again it’s just too soon for me to be able to write anything that would do her justice. At some point in the coming weeks I hope to write tributes to both Dad and Aunt Mae, but for today I simply want to say thank you.

Thank you to so many of you who have offered words of comfort and solace to me, Mum and Sandy over these last few weeks as first we lost my Dad, and then my Aunt Mae. I really can’t express strongly enough just how much your support in person, by phone and/or card, has meant to us all.

To those of you who have helped us get everything sorted out for today, I’d like to say a huge thank you to you.

To the many of you who shared with us today at Rutherglen Salvation Army for the service of thanksgiving, then at Rutherglen cemetery, and then afterwards back at Rutherglen Salvation Army for refreshments, thank you for taking the time to support us on this most difficult of days, as I’m sure it was very much appreciated by all my family. I’m sure my Aunt Mae would have been embarrassed by all that has been said about her today, but as far as I’m concerned, it simply shows the huge impact and influence Aunt Mae had on the many people she met during her lifetime.

I’ll miss you Aunt Mae, and just as I said about my Dad a few weeks ago, I will never ever forget you.

Rest in peace Aunt Mae xxx

It’s been a sad day today, as we said a final farewell to be Dad, Edwin (Eddie) Robert Johnson (25/04/1927 – 21/02/2013).

Dad at our wedding

My intention had been to write a tribute to my Dad today, but I’m afraid it’s just too soon for me to be able to write anything that would do my Dad justice, so I’ll save my thoughts for another day once Mum, Sandy and me get back to some kind of normality.

So today, I simply want to express my gratitude to everyone who has offered support and love to us during these difficult days either by phoned, in person or have sent us cards. You will never now how much your support has meant to us all.

To those of you who have helped us get everything sorted out for the funeral today and helped with the funeral itself, a huge thank you.

To the many of you who shared with us today at the crematorium and then afterwards at the hotel, thank you for taking the time to support us on this most difficult of days, again it was very much appreciated by us. I’m sure my Dad would have been embarrassed by all that has been said about him today and also by the number of you who attended his funeral, but as far as I’m concerned, it simply shows the huge impact and influence my Dad had on so many lives.

I miss you Dad, but I will never ever forget you.

Rest in peace Dad xxx

Just for you Dad, one of your favourite jazz musicians, Tommy Dorsey, playing I’m Getting Sentimental Over You: