Have you ever played the game where you are presented with a tray containing a number of items, which you are then given a small amount of time to memorise. The tray is then either covered so that you are then required to list as many of the items on the tray as you can remember, or the tray is taken away one item removed and then brought back to you so you them have to identify which item has been taken away.

Depending on the number of items you are required to memorise this game can either be quite straight forward or can be very difficult. Although having said that, I have found it’s the folk that are most observant that tend to be best at this game.

MissingHow about if it’s a group of people and someone who is normally there isn’t there? How quickly, if at all, do you notice their absence? I guess it probably depends on your relationship with the “missing” person. i.e. If it’s someone you’re close to you probably notice quite quickly, however if it’s just someone you simply know to see, but don’t really know them, you’re probably less likely to notice if they aren’t there.

That all seems fine doesn’t it as someone else will notice these people  who you don’t really know, aren’t there…but will they? What if that person isn’t close with anyone else, does that mean their absence would go unnoticed, and no-one would consider checking if they are ok?

Maybe we all need to open our eyes more and pay more attention to those around us, as no-one’s absence from a regular event should go unnoticed, and we certainly shouldn’t assume someone else will check on them.

Everyone needs to feel needed and cared for so if someone can be “missing” but no-one notices, or contacts them it’s easy to understand why people can feel like an outsider. This can seem even worse to the person when it’s highlighted when others are “missing” that many people missing them and contacted them. when this happens is it really a surprise that some people feel like outsiders and feel like no-one cares about them?

Comments
  1. Jenny Bleakley says:

    I have often wondered if anyone would notice if I wasn’t here anymore. I usually come to the conclusion that they would not notice i was not there for a number of days. Is it worth carrying on when no-one notices you? I’ve struggled with that for years and continue to struggle with it when my depression is bad. I think people see me as someone who is strong and doesn’t need anyone else but that is the complete opposite of me. I’m lonely, afraid and in need of someone to give me a hug and tell me they are there for me.
    Thank you for highlighting the problem us nobodies face as it’s a lonely place.
    Much love Jx

    • Dot says:

      Its awful feeling as though no-one cares about you or notices you’re missing when you don’t attend something you normally go to. However I’m sure others do notice when you’re missing, but maybe just aren’t sure what to say to you particularly if they know how much you are struggling.
      Be assured of my thoughts and prayers. .x

      • Jenny Bleakley says:

        I feel insignificant and unimportant. i seem to be invisible to others as they don’t seem to care if I’m ok or not but despite feeling like life is not worth all this i have kept going but not sure how I’ve managed it. Love reading your blog as you seem to feel the same about some things as me although you seem to cope far better than i ever have. Thank you for sharing your experiences Jx

      • Dot says:

        Don’t be fooled by my blogs, I do struggle with some things, but don’t like others to see my struggle. I’ve felt sharing my experience may in some way help others, so thank you for letting me know you have found some of these useful. .x

  2. […] as I’ve mentioned in a couple of recent blog posts, Missing and Missed, it is important that everyone feels needed, and are missed when they fail to attend […]

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