Rotten Week

Well I don’t know about you, but my week has been rotten!

Between running around after hubby, helping Mum, having a problem person to cope with at work, not feeling to great and in a lot of pain and generally feeling alone and unwanted at times, it really hasn’t been one of my most enjoyable weeks.

So how have these events made me feel this week?

A number of emotions have been very prevalent this week, but here are a few of the main ones: I’ve felt invisible, alone, worthless, useless, frustrated, in pain, annoyed and upset – all of these feelings are not very pleasant ones and therefore may help explain why I describe this one as having been a rotten one for me.

So how have I managed to survive my week? My inner strength and most of all my faith!

As I’ve mentioned several times before, these last few years have been tough ones for me and at the moment life definitely seems to be back on a downward spiral again. However, while I still have my moments of complete despair and inability to cope, I’m still able to reassure myself, because of my experiences over the last few years, that God has not deserted me, but is still very much with me, through it all – I simply have to remember to put my full trust in Him despite what life is still throwing my way.

Just to help add to the particularly bad week, Mum’s not feeling too good now either, and is struggling physically and emotionally to continue to care for Dad, who has vascular dementia. So much so, that this afternoon when I was with Mum, she told me she wasn’t sure how much longer she will be able to care for Dad. Obviously I’m upset by this too, however I must be honest and say I’m surprised Mum has managed to cope for so long. Ultimately the decision that Dad needs to go into care is Mum’s not mine, as she’s the one who spends 24/7 caring for him.

On the plus side, Dad’s booked into a local care home (the same one one of my aunt’s is in), for one week’s respite care at the end of October/beginning of November. I’ve taken that week off so I can spend it with Mum, so she’s not completely on her own. I’m hoping that week will be a huge help for Mum and that Dad will settle in at the care home ok. But ultimately I hope it may help Mum make a decision on the future, and how much longer she continues to care for Dad at home.

So there’s my rotten week in a nutshell. I hope your week has been far more positive and encouraging than mine! Let’s hope we all have a far more positive and helpful week next week!

In conclusion I’d just like to thank all of you who have supported and prayed for me and my family over the last while, I really do appreciate it, and ask that in these coming days for your continued prayers as these coming weeks are likely to be difficult ones for us all.

Thank you.

I love the song Through It All which really sums up my Christian experience over these last few years in particular, so I hope you enjoy this version of the song performed here by The Three Sopranos:

Through It All
Though the future seems uncertain
Though the fear erodes my peace
Though the circumstance seems hopeless
And the doubting will not cease
I will claim what He has promised
For my heart must recognise
Mine is not to question
But keep focused on the prize.
Through it all I choose to serve the saviour
Through it all I claim Christ as my friend
Through it all my faith will never waver
Till He calls me home or comes again
This path now set before me
Is not my route of choice
Yet I must keep moving forward
Listening to His still small voice
This step along this journey
He reminds me I’m His own
And through the cold dark loneliness
I’m aware I’m not alone
Through it all I choose to serve the saviour
Through it all I claim Christ as my friend
Through it all my faith will never waver
Till He calls me home or comes again

One comment

  1. Weeks like your’s can be hard on us. Sorry to hear about your father, I pray your mother and you come to a decisionabout him that you can all be happy with, though I know from my own experience that it can be difficult to be totally at peace when making a decision like that.
    May God give you the direction and peace you seek at this time.


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