I was watching a program on TV recently where one of the people was told by the rest of the group that they were as good as unnamed as every time the group did a task together this individual was never noticeable and didn’t seem to contribute. I felt quite sorry for the person concerned, as from what we saw on the programme, they were trying their best but others were simply either talking over the person, or just ignoring them all together. Just because others in the group chose not to acknowledge/notice this person’s presence or input was not, in my opinion, a good reason to claim this person was “unnamed”. I found this discussion hit home with me as I have found countless times in my life and again a number of times in the last few weeks, that I am always the forgotten person.

social_exclusionFor example there’s been a number of situations recently that I’ve been involved in where the person in charge has publicly thanks a variety of people for their input/help but no included me despite me being the sole contributor to various activities. In some instances I still remain unthanked while in another I was thanked at another event several days later with the comment that “it was remiss to have excluded” me.

If these times had just been one offs it would have been ok but this is the norm for me. I put in lots of time and effort to everything I do (I’m a perfectionist after all!), but then seem to be taken for granted or ignored/forgotten , as I often then find I have to sit and listen while everyone else apart from me gets thanked or praised for their work/efforts. Don’t get me wrong it’s not the “thank you” I’m bothered about in these situations, it’s the fact that if others are going to be thanked, why does it seem like I am always the only one who is forgotten?

I may not be the most outgoing of people. I may not be the more memorable of people, but I am still here and I work hard at all I do, so for all those “unnamed” people out there, I want to say, please make sure you don’t exclude or forget about anyone when you’re giving praise or thanking people, as accidentally excluding someone is actually as bad as purposefully excluding them, and can cause just as much, if not more hurt and upset.

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