What a day! It’s been a day full of lots of different emotions. It’s been a day Mum has been looking forward to ever since she agreed that she wanted Dad to go into a care home for a week’s respite care. It’s been a day that’s been a long time coming, and one which I personally think Mum could have been doing with arriving much much sooner.
The day didn’t start great for me for various reasons, including not sleeping well last night and then hubby going back to doctor’s this morning to be told he’s still not well enough to go back to work (this was no great surprise to me, but I think hubby was expecting a different outcome). That’s now quite a number of week’s hubby’s been off work and to me he’s still not much better than he was when he was first off…this is gonna be a tough day…
Early afternoon and it’s time to head over to Mum and Dad’s to take Dad to the care home where he will stay for the next week to give my Mum a break from caring for him.
When I get over there, Mum tells me she’s explained to Dad countless times where he’s going and why, although he really hasn’t understood. Although at one point he did apparently say he didn’t want to go, and wished the week was over so he could come back home again…hearbreaking.
In the car on the way to the care home, Mum and me were explaining to Dad again where we were going and why, but he just kept saying he hadn’t a clue where he was or what was going on. Then he suddenly burst into tears…heartbreaking.
Mum was struggling, I could see that, but what could I say or do other than try and reassure her that Dad would be ok and that the folks at the care home would take good care of him. After all the care home Dad is going into is the same one my Aunt Mae lives in these days, so we know it’s nice, we know the staff are great and they know us well too because we’ve been visiting Aunt Mae regularly ever since she first went into the care home.
The staff at the care home were as usual marvellous and kept reassuring Mum that Dad would be ok, and that she should take full advantage of her week’s break from caring for Dad.
While we were at the care home we all went to visit Aunt Mae. She didn’t seem too happy today, so that was upsetting, again particularly for Mum as she was already finding today tough. So after visiting Aunt Mae, we took Dad back down to where he is going to be staying for the week, again explaining to him what was going on, but again he was unable to understand. Then came the toughest time…the time to leave Dad…
It was dinner time for the folks in the care home, so we took Dad to the dining room, and got one of the carers to take him to a seat…he didn’t understand why Mum wasn’t going to sit down with him in “the restaurant”…heartbreaking.
Mum wasn’t too bad, she found it tough leaving Dad, however I had expected her to get all upset but she coped better than I had expected.
Spent some time with Mum after we left the care home, and she seemed to be looking forward to her “week of freedom”, though she did keep saying “I wonder how Dad’s getting on”. Despite Mum telling me today not to worry about her and that I didn’t need to spend my whole week off with her, I intend to spend at least some time with her every day this week, just to reassure me if nothing else, that she’s ok.
Today’s been a tough old day, an emotional day – a day I’m happy for Mum’s sake has arrived, but on the other hand, I’m sad for Dad that it’s come to this, him having to go into a care home.
So many emotions for us all. It’s been a tough day all round.